For my lovers of gore, I found a clip of what my surgery will most likely look like. I will be having my breast tissue expanders taken out (I love how they just pop out in the video) and my new implants put in.
Surgeries are fascinating!
If you're easily grossed out or have no interest in the process, don't click the link.
Surgery Link
Disclaimer: This is NOT me.
Showing posts with label mastectomy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mastectomy. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
My Odd Tissue Expanders
I sometimes check my blog traffic to see what exactly people google to end up on my blog.
I see a ton of "tissue expanders"and "what will I look like after my mastectomy?" traffic.
I'm not surprised. That's exactly what I googled when I was first diagnosed. I found very little.
To make this blog work to it's fullest potential, I will show you what I look like. I hope it helps you to see that they're odd little buggers....but temporary.
It doesn't mean this is what you will look like, but it's a good starting point.
I have a serious love/hate relationships with my expanders.
I like them because they make me appear to have boobs....really large boobs, actually.
For someone like me, who had virtually NO boobs prior, I kind of enjoy them.
In the middle of the night when I can't get comfortable because they're poking me- and I feel like my ribs are breaking, I'm not such a fan.
It all evens out. Temporary, temporary!
Here's the good part to my story.....Dr. Migliori said that since my skin responded insanely well after radiation, I don't have to wait the full six months to have my exchange surgery.
I will be getting my new boobs on August 30th. Woo hoo!
This is pretty fabulous news.
Here are some pics of my crazy boobs now. The whole process of boobs, cancerous boob, no boobs, small boobs to big boobs is truly amazing.
Since my mastectomy on January 3rd, I have been inflated 500 ccs on the left and 540 ccs on the right.
The expanders were put in wide because of my need for radiation through the middle of my chest.
I have not worn a bra since January 3rd. I can run with these bad boys and they don't move an inch.
I should run more. :)
The last picture shows a dot in the middle of my ribs. That's one of my radiation tattoos. I have (I think) four of them. They're permanent.
I see a ton of "tissue expanders"and "what will I look like after my mastectomy?" traffic.
I'm not surprised. That's exactly what I googled when I was first diagnosed. I found very little.
To make this blog work to it's fullest potential, I will show you what I look like. I hope it helps you to see that they're odd little buggers....but temporary.
It doesn't mean this is what you will look like, but it's a good starting point.
I have a serious love/hate relationships with my expanders.
I like them because they make me appear to have boobs....really large boobs, actually.
For someone like me, who had virtually NO boobs prior, I kind of enjoy them.
In the middle of the night when I can't get comfortable because they're poking me- and I feel like my ribs are breaking, I'm not such a fan.
It all evens out. Temporary, temporary!
Here's the good part to my story.....Dr. Migliori said that since my skin responded insanely well after radiation, I don't have to wait the full six months to have my exchange surgery.
I will be getting my new boobs on August 30th. Woo hoo!
This is pretty fabulous news.
Here are some pics of my crazy boobs now. The whole process of boobs, cancerous boob, no boobs, small boobs to big boobs is truly amazing.
Since my mastectomy on January 3rd, I have been inflated 500 ccs on the left and 540 ccs on the right.
The expanders were put in wide because of my need for radiation through the middle of my chest.
I have not worn a bra since January 3rd. I can run with these bad boys and they don't move an inch.
I should run more. :)
The last picture shows a dot in the middle of my ribs. That's one of my radiation tattoos. I have (I think) four of them. They're permanent.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Ugh.
I met with my PCP physician today to do a shoulder exam.
She thinks it's very likely a torn rotator cuff and wants me to see an orthopedic surgeon later this week.
I don't remember any one incident that caused the tear. Dr. Hollingsworth said it could have easily been caused by the way I was positioned during my surgery because I wasn't moved for such a long period and my arms were over my head.
Normally, an MRI would be ordered. Because I have tissue expanders that have magnets in them, I'm not able to have one now. I'm also not a candidate for a cortisone shot while I have expanders.
Dr. Hollingsworth will be calling my plastic surgeon tomorrow to find out more details on what tests will be okay while I still have expanders.
The last thing I want is surgery. I really hope they figure out something.
For now, pain meds and physical therapy may be our only options.
Tomorrow is almost my halfway point for radiation. I'm now on a steroid cream that is supposed to minimize the itching. So far, it's not working. Only 18 more treatments! If you can throw a few prayers my way that my boob doesn't split like a coconut, I would be more than thankful.
Thanks! :)
She thinks it's very likely a torn rotator cuff and wants me to see an orthopedic surgeon later this week.
I don't remember any one incident that caused the tear. Dr. Hollingsworth said it could have easily been caused by the way I was positioned during my surgery because I wasn't moved for such a long period and my arms were over my head.
Normally, an MRI would be ordered. Because I have tissue expanders that have magnets in them, I'm not able to have one now. I'm also not a candidate for a cortisone shot while I have expanders.
Dr. Hollingsworth will be calling my plastic surgeon tomorrow to find out more details on what tests will be okay while I still have expanders.
The last thing I want is surgery. I really hope they figure out something.
For now, pain meds and physical therapy may be our only options.
Tomorrow is almost my halfway point for radiation. I'm now on a steroid cream that is supposed to minimize the itching. So far, it's not working. Only 18 more treatments! If you can throw a few prayers my way that my boob doesn't split like a coconut, I would be more than thankful.
Thanks! :)
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Pathology Results and Updates
I had an appointment this morning with the surgeon who performed my mastectomies to check my incisions, range of motion and go over my pathology results.
I'm happy to report that she was happy with all of it.
If Dr. Bretzke is happy, I'm happy.
She commented that my "breasts are stretching amazingly well in a short amount of time."
That's certainly not something I would have wanted to hear last year, but now, it's a good thing.
I have mixed feelings on the breast tissue expanders.
While they're currently weird shaped and feel like turtle shells...with a shirt on, I like them.
I look to be currently about an average C. They're crazy full and I don't have to wear a bra. They are definitely more than a handful. We will have to over expand them past what size I want to be so that I have enough skin after radiation to make the exchange.
Radiation will probably shrink the skin on the left side and make it tough like leather. It can also cause burns. We will do all of the stretching before starting rads because in some cases, the skin doesnt't stretch well afterwards.
This is the route they think will render me the best results.
I meet with my Radiation Oncologist on Monday to figure out the game plan.
My chest is still numb. I can't feel anything on my skin or my left armpit area.
I usually don't even know if I've bumped into something until my turtle shells are stabbing me in the ribs. It's an odd feeling. It hurts to hug. I still need pain meds at night and I continue to sleep in the recliner in my pillow nest. It hurts my muscles to lie flat.
During the day, I feel pretty well. I still can't do a ton with my left arm, but I have started exercises to help my range improve.
I start physical therapy on Friday to keep my Lymphedema risk down.
I go for a Herceptin infusion tomorrow and a check up with my oncologist.
This seems to be the week of never ending appointments.
I am so thankful for a great husband and fabulous friends who are willing to watch my kiddos while I go from place to place.
My pathology reports were as good as they could possibly be.
Evaluation of the lymph nodes showed no evidence of metastatic disease within 23 nodes. This means it hasn't spread. Two of the nodes showed changes showing treatment effect. That means chemo zapped them.
My first tumor is gone. The report states, *NO RESIDUAL INVASIVE TUMOR PRESENT.*
Holy-baby-Jesus-in-a-manger, was it ever good to see that in black and white! :)
A secondary tumor was found in the same breast at the time of the mastectomy. It was 0.3 cm and it was called Ductal Carcinoma in Situ. It was within the breast tissue that was taken out and it's long gone now.
I got a handshake from the doctor and the all clear to not come back for one whole year.
Today's a good day.
I'm happy to report that she was happy with all of it.
If Dr. Bretzke is happy, I'm happy.
She commented that my "breasts are stretching amazingly well in a short amount of time."
That's certainly not something I would have wanted to hear last year, but now, it's a good thing.
I have mixed feelings on the breast tissue expanders.
While they're currently weird shaped and feel like turtle shells...with a shirt on, I like them.
I look to be currently about an average C. They're crazy full and I don't have to wear a bra. They are definitely more than a handful. We will have to over expand them past what size I want to be so that I have enough skin after radiation to make the exchange.
Radiation will probably shrink the skin on the left side and make it tough like leather. It can also cause burns. We will do all of the stretching before starting rads because in some cases, the skin doesnt't stretch well afterwards.
This is the route they think will render me the best results.
I meet with my Radiation Oncologist on Monday to figure out the game plan.
My chest is still numb. I can't feel anything on my skin or my left armpit area.
I usually don't even know if I've bumped into something until my turtle shells are stabbing me in the ribs. It's an odd feeling. It hurts to hug. I still need pain meds at night and I continue to sleep in the recliner in my pillow nest. It hurts my muscles to lie flat.
During the day, I feel pretty well. I still can't do a ton with my left arm, but I have started exercises to help my range improve.
I start physical therapy on Friday to keep my Lymphedema risk down.
I go for a Herceptin infusion tomorrow and a check up with my oncologist.
This seems to be the week of never ending appointments.
I am so thankful for a great husband and fabulous friends who are willing to watch my kiddos while I go from place to place.
My pathology reports were as good as they could possibly be.
Evaluation of the lymph nodes showed no evidence of metastatic disease within 23 nodes. This means it hasn't spread. Two of the nodes showed changes showing treatment effect. That means chemo zapped them.
My first tumor is gone. The report states, *NO RESIDUAL INVASIVE TUMOR PRESENT.*
Holy-baby-Jesus-in-a-manger, was it ever good to see that in black and white! :)
A secondary tumor was found in the same breast at the time of the mastectomy. It was 0.3 cm and it was called Ductal Carcinoma in Situ. It was within the breast tissue that was taken out and it's long gone now.
I got a handshake from the doctor and the all clear to not come back for one whole year.
Today's a good day.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
A whole lot of nothing!
My drains are putting out what they should be FINALLY, so I think we're on track to have them taken out on Friday. Houston is trying his damndest to yank them out before then. He keeps me on my toes. In his sweet little mind, the fluid in the drains is cancer and he wants no part of it.
I don't blame him. My littles sure have learned a lot about the c-word since August. I can't wait until the day he tells all of his friends that his mom has new big boobs instead of cancer. :)
It's been nine days since my surgery and my mom is heading back to SD tomorrow. All good things must come to an end. She spent today packing. It gave me a 'trial day' to see if I could handle my kids alone post-surgery.
I was a little sore, a little tired, but we all managed. The kids were actually pretty easy on me. I'm hopeful this is a new trend.
I now know that anything I plan to feed the kids has to be on the 1st and 2nd shelves of the pantry and fridge, since I can't raise my arms. Thank goodness my kids are fans of cereal, grilled cheese, jarred peaches and cottage cheese. :)
I forgot to post some pics from the days right after surgery.
Here are the signs I was welcomed home by:
My wonderful niece, Cheyanne, made this fabulous sign for me once we got the all clear on the pathology report.
Yes, she's wayyyy too young to write ASS. We will let it slide since she asked her dad's permission first. Love that girl!
The most fabulous woman ever took the day off from her job as a social worker to babysit my kids for the entire day of surgery. She even came equipped with art supplies.
The kids are still asking for Jodi to come back to "do art and play phones."
I will never be able to thank you enough, Jodi!
Here's me in all of my hotness. I have no idea which day this was. I may or may not be wearing the same exact outfit right now.
Don't hate on my XXXXL old lady robe. The recommended zip up flannel robe options for post mastectomies are very limited.
I made myself a drain holder by using my dusting mitt to stuff my three bags in. That's some Pinterest shit, right there. ;)
Here's a different pic of my drains. Gross, right? Check out the fancy safety pins. :)
The pants may be even worse than the drains. They, too, have become a staple this week.
I have to write down my outputs daily.
I also kept a little med chart so I could make sure my caretakers remembered to keep me drugged at all times.
Yes, for all you eagle-eyes, I did take a stool softener for a few days. No, for all you nosy people, they didn't work. Ha!
Small things like this crack me up.
Six months ago, I wouldn't have in a million years even posted a pic on Facebook that I hadn't first used Picnik.com to take 5 lbs off, add highlights to my hair or whiten my teeth.
I now openly (and often!) post pics of me sans make up, a little chunkier than I would like and with no hair, eyebrows or lashes. I also post the frequency of my stool softener usage.
Insanity, I tell you!
I would like to think that once I'm back to full on health, I might splash on a little lipstick and mascara, for old times sake. Paraben-free, of course!
Whew. I feel so much better getting this all typed out and off my oddly shaped chest. You know this blog is more for me than for you, right? ;)
Have a good one!
I don't blame him. My littles sure have learned a lot about the c-word since August. I can't wait until the day he tells all of his friends that his mom has new big boobs instead of cancer. :)
It's been nine days since my surgery and my mom is heading back to SD tomorrow. All good things must come to an end. She spent today packing. It gave me a 'trial day' to see if I could handle my kids alone post-surgery.
I was a little sore, a little tired, but we all managed. The kids were actually pretty easy on me. I'm hopeful this is a new trend.
I now know that anything I plan to feed the kids has to be on the 1st and 2nd shelves of the pantry and fridge, since I can't raise my arms. Thank goodness my kids are fans of cereal, grilled cheese, jarred peaches and cottage cheese. :)
I forgot to post some pics from the days right after surgery.
Here are the signs I was welcomed home by:
My wonderful niece, Cheyanne, made this fabulous sign for me once we got the all clear on the pathology report.
Yes, she's wayyyy too young to write ASS. We will let it slide since she asked her dad's permission first. Love that girl!
The most fabulous woman ever took the day off from her job as a social worker to babysit my kids for the entire day of surgery. She even came equipped with art supplies.
The kids are still asking for Jodi to come back to "do art and play phones."
I will never be able to thank you enough, Jodi!
Here's me in all of my hotness. I have no idea which day this was. I may or may not be wearing the same exact outfit right now.
Don't hate on my XXXXL old lady robe. The recommended zip up flannel robe options for post mastectomies are very limited.
Here's a different pic of my drains. Gross, right? Check out the fancy safety pins. :)
The pants may be even worse than the drains. They, too, have become a staple this week.
I have to write down my outputs daily.
I also kept a little med chart so I could make sure my caretakers remembered to keep me drugged at all times.
Yes, for all you eagle-eyes, I did take a stool softener for a few days. No, for all you nosy people, they didn't work. Ha!
Small things like this crack me up.
Six months ago, I wouldn't have in a million years even posted a pic on Facebook that I hadn't first used Picnik.com to take 5 lbs off, add highlights to my hair or whiten my teeth.
I now openly (and often!) post pics of me sans make up, a little chunkier than I would like and with no hair, eyebrows or lashes. I also post the frequency of my stool softener usage.
Insanity, I tell you!
I would like to think that once I'm back to full on health, I might splash on a little lipstick and mascara, for old times sake. Paraben-free, of course!
Whew. I feel so much better getting this all typed out and off my oddly shaped chest. You know this blog is more for me than for you, right? ;)
Have a good one!
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Here they are~
So, this is the first stage of reconstruction.
My boobs are out, tissue expanders are in. They are actually a really good size for a starting point.
I will make weekly trips to my plastic surgeons office starting next Friday to fill them up a little more. They are 350 ccs on each side now. I'm still hoping to be close to 500 ccs on each side by the end of the expansion period.
We'll see as we go. If they start looking obnoxious, we may stop filling early.
Expanders are generally placed too high and too hard in order to have the best tissue stretch. Mine have dents, etc, but that's normal. Hopefully once the real implants are exchanged for the expanders, they will look more soft and normal.
I'm going to post a picture. I know it may gross people out. If you're one of those people, I apologize.
The main reason I'm doing it is because there are a lot of people fighting cancer right now that are reading my blog to learn what is going to happen to them next.
I just want to show them that it's not that bad. It hurts, but it's tolerable.
I was in the hospital for less than 48 hours. I can now walk around without getting sick. I just can't lift things quite yet.
With the awesome support I have, nothing is impossible. I hope anyone on their own cancer ride has a fabulous team like I do.
You can still see my port on my right side of my chest. That will hopefully come out in August.
My boobs are out, tissue expanders are in. They are actually a really good size for a starting point.
I will make weekly trips to my plastic surgeons office starting next Friday to fill them up a little more. They are 350 ccs on each side now. I'm still hoping to be close to 500 ccs on each side by the end of the expansion period.
We'll see as we go. If they start looking obnoxious, we may stop filling early.
Expanders are generally placed too high and too hard in order to have the best tissue stretch. Mine have dents, etc, but that's normal. Hopefully once the real implants are exchanged for the expanders, they will look more soft and normal.
I'm going to post a picture. I know it may gross people out. If you're one of those people, I apologize.
The main reason I'm doing it is because there are a lot of people fighting cancer right now that are reading my blog to learn what is going to happen to them next.
I just want to show them that it's not that bad. It hurts, but it's tolerable.
I was in the hospital for less than 48 hours. I can now walk around without getting sick. I just can't lift things quite yet.
With the awesome support I have, nothing is impossible. I hope anyone on their own cancer ride has a fabulous team like I do.
You can still see my port on my right side of my chest. That will hopefully come out in August.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Plastics Guy
I love meeting with my plastic surgeon. He's adorable and considered a genius in his field.
I like to people watch in his office more than anything.
I feel like I'm on a Midwestern version of 'Nip/Tuck'.
Tomorrow marks one month before my 'ticking time bombs' will be removed.
Everything is on schedule for my surgery as long as my Echo and physical results come back ok.
The doctor thinks I will only have to stay in the hospital for two nights. He also reassured me numerous times that he's liberal with the pain meds, so I shouldn't worry.
The fact that pain meds make me puke is the ONLY thing I'm currently worried about.
I will be in surgery for 3-4 hours between the mastectomies and first stage of reconstruction.
There will be drains placed on both sides that will drain excess fluids from the surgical sites. They will be gross and uncomfortable, but necessary. I will have them for about a week.
Here's a pic of a complete stranger with a drain. I love the internet! :)
Another fun fact, Dr. Migliori will be using AlloDerm when he puts my expanders in.
AlloDerm is derived from tissue of postmortem human cadaver donors that have been donated to the US tissue banks.
My final surgery where my expanders will be exchanged with implants will depend on how much radiation I will need. Right now, we are planning on 35 treatments. We won't know for sure though until my first surgery.
I will either have it six months from the date of my mastectomy, or six months from the start of radiation. That puts it at either July or August 2012.
It also seems like an eternity from now.
Cancer-free in 2012, yo!
Are you curious how big I will be at the end?
Of course you are. ;)
Well, I won't be anywhere near Dolly Parton. We are just hoping to almost double my original ones and put them back where they used to be pre-kids.
We are shooting for at least 450-500 ccs.
I would like to go bigger but it's not in the cards.
Dr. Mig is a genius, but not a magician. It all depends on how my skin does with the radiation and tissue expanders.
I have an appointment on Monday with my primary care physician to have my pre-op physical.
I haven't seen her since she missed my initial lump.
I have no idea why I'm going to her again.
Actually, I have thought about changing doctors, but I don't want her to forget me or my story.
I don't want her to dismiss another patient that is concerned about a lump. I don't want her to tell another person that she has "lumpy bumpies" and send her on her way.
I want this doctor to see that *LUCKILY* I was persistent and gave her another chance to order a mammogram for me.
I hope I was a "teaching moment" for her.
I hope she now errs on the side of caution and orders mammograms every damn time she feels something she questions, no matter what the age or family background is of the patient. I hope I will be her last "lumpy bumpy" patient that has to go home and worry, without answers, as to why the bump in her breast is growing.
Besides the tumor biz, she was a pretty good doctor. As long as I don't get cancer again, I'm probably ok sticking with her. :)
I hope you all have an awesome weekend!
I like to people watch in his office more than anything.
I feel like I'm on a Midwestern version of 'Nip/Tuck'.
Tomorrow marks one month before my 'ticking time bombs' will be removed.
Everything is on schedule for my surgery as long as my Echo and physical results come back ok.
The doctor thinks I will only have to stay in the hospital for two nights. He also reassured me numerous times that he's liberal with the pain meds, so I shouldn't worry.
The fact that pain meds make me puke is the ONLY thing I'm currently worried about.
I will be in surgery for 3-4 hours between the mastectomies and first stage of reconstruction.
There will be drains placed on both sides that will drain excess fluids from the surgical sites. They will be gross and uncomfortable, but necessary. I will have them for about a week.
Here's a pic of a complete stranger with a drain. I love the internet! :)
Another fun fact, Dr. Migliori will be using AlloDerm when he puts my expanders in.
AlloDerm is derived from tissue of postmortem human cadaver donors that have been donated to the US tissue banks.
My final surgery where my expanders will be exchanged with implants will depend on how much radiation I will need. Right now, we are planning on 35 treatments. We won't know for sure though until my first surgery.
I will either have it six months from the date of my mastectomy, or six months from the start of radiation. That puts it at either July or August 2012.
It also seems like an eternity from now.
Cancer-free in 2012, yo!
Are you curious how big I will be at the end?
Of course you are. ;)
Well, I won't be anywhere near Dolly Parton. We are just hoping to almost double my original ones and put them back where they used to be pre-kids.
We are shooting for at least 450-500 ccs.
I would like to go bigger but it's not in the cards.
Dr. Mig is a genius, but not a magician. It all depends on how my skin does with the radiation and tissue expanders.
I have an appointment on Monday with my primary care physician to have my pre-op physical.
I haven't seen her since she missed my initial lump.
I have no idea why I'm going to her again.
Actually, I have thought about changing doctors, but I don't want her to forget me or my story.
I don't want her to dismiss another patient that is concerned about a lump. I don't want her to tell another person that she has "lumpy bumpies" and send her on her way.
I want this doctor to see that *LUCKILY* I was persistent and gave her another chance to order a mammogram for me.
I hope I was a "teaching moment" for her.
I hope she now errs on the side of caution and orders mammograms every damn time she feels something she questions, no matter what the age or family background is of the patient. I hope I will be her last "lumpy bumpy" patient that has to go home and worry, without answers, as to why the bump in her breast is growing.
Besides the tumor biz, she was a pretty good doctor. As long as I don't get cancer again, I'm probably ok sticking with her. :)
I hope you all have an awesome weekend!
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Time flies!
My calendar is quickly filling up with pre-op appointments in December. I will be seeing a lot of my family doctor, oncologist, general surgeon and plastic surgeon to prepare and run tests for my big surgery on January 3rd. What a way to start out the new year!
I have thought about it as little as possible since my diagnosis so I could concentrate on getting through chemo. Amazingly, in eleven days, I will have finished my sixth and final chemotherapy.
It makes me excited, but nervous.
It's a weird apprehensive feeling.
My body reacted amazingly to the chemo and my side effects were minimal. The effects were bad enough that I knew the medications were working, but not so bad that I was down for too long.
Being on chemo has always been a safety net for me. I know that cancer rarely spreads or grows while you're receiving treatments and it made me feel safer.
Now that my treatment is almost over, I feel more anxious than ever.
Part of me feels like the second the chemo is out of my system, cancer will say "game on" and start growing again.
Stupid thoughts consume me sometimes. Cancerfnsucks.
I have started to prepare the kids for my mastectomy. I had a c-section with my twins and have a light scar still. I had told my kids this summer, when my daughter asked how babies were born, that my scar was my "zipper." I explained that God told the doctors when my new baby/babies were done growing and ready to meet us. At that time, the doctor unzipped me and got the baby/babies out. After the boys, God closed the hole so no more babies could come out the zipper. ;) Of course, that's not exactly what happened, especially since my daughter WASN'T a caesarian....but it pacified my then 3 year olds and 4 year old. :)
I have continued the zipper story in regards to my boobs. It has been pretty easy to get through the chemo part with the kids, without them putting too much thought into this cancer thing. The surgery will be tougher since I will have to stay in the hospital a couple days....and will come home looking like a 14 year old boy.
I told Karsyn that I will be going to the doctor and will be getting a new zipper on each side of my chest. That's where the doctor will scoop out all the yucky stuff and God will fill the holes so no more breast cancer can get in.
She was completely fine with that story. Sometimes, I'm pretty happy they're as young as they are. They trust what I say.
The kids just want it to be summer so I can get my "button" out of my chest. I do too. It weirds me out still to have that port in and it's actually starting to hurt more than usual. Nine more months of that bad boy. Ugh.
I've been looking forward to the light at the end of the tunnel.
Here are the new breasts I have picked out.
I'm totally kidding, but I would LOVE her tiny little waist.
I've also started checking out new hairstyles. My hair will hopefully start growing once chemo ends.
I'm a big fan of pixie cuts, but hadn't been ballsy enough prior to ever cut my long hair off. Growing my hair INTO a pixie is almost comical.
I will just be so happy to finally not see my scalp anymore.
Here's what I'm kind of hoping for. Wishful thinking, I'm sure.
Thanks for continuing to come along with me on this crazy journey. I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!
XOXO
I have thought about it as little as possible since my diagnosis so I could concentrate on getting through chemo. Amazingly, in eleven days, I will have finished my sixth and final chemotherapy.
It makes me excited, but nervous.
It's a weird apprehensive feeling.
My body reacted amazingly to the chemo and my side effects were minimal. The effects were bad enough that I knew the medications were working, but not so bad that I was down for too long.
Being on chemo has always been a safety net for me. I know that cancer rarely spreads or grows while you're receiving treatments and it made me feel safer.
Now that my treatment is almost over, I feel more anxious than ever.
Part of me feels like the second the chemo is out of my system, cancer will say "game on" and start growing again.
Stupid thoughts consume me sometimes. Cancerfnsucks.
I have started to prepare the kids for my mastectomy. I had a c-section with my twins and have a light scar still. I had told my kids this summer, when my daughter asked how babies were born, that my scar was my "zipper." I explained that God told the doctors when my new baby/babies were done growing and ready to meet us. At that time, the doctor unzipped me and got the baby/babies out. After the boys, God closed the hole so no more babies could come out the zipper. ;) Of course, that's not exactly what happened, especially since my daughter WASN'T a caesarian....but it pacified my then 3 year olds and 4 year old. :)
I have continued the zipper story in regards to my boobs. It has been pretty easy to get through the chemo part with the kids, without them putting too much thought into this cancer thing. The surgery will be tougher since I will have to stay in the hospital a couple days....and will come home looking like a 14 year old boy.
I told Karsyn that I will be going to the doctor and will be getting a new zipper on each side of my chest. That's where the doctor will scoop out all the yucky stuff and God will fill the holes so no more breast cancer can get in.
She was completely fine with that story. Sometimes, I'm pretty happy they're as young as they are. They trust what I say.
The kids just want it to be summer so I can get my "button" out of my chest. I do too. It weirds me out still to have that port in and it's actually starting to hurt more than usual. Nine more months of that bad boy. Ugh.
I've been looking forward to the light at the end of the tunnel.
Here are the new breasts I have picked out.
I'm totally kidding, but I would LOVE her tiny little waist.
I've also started checking out new hairstyles. My hair will hopefully start growing once chemo ends.
I'm a big fan of pixie cuts, but hadn't been ballsy enough prior to ever cut my long hair off. Growing my hair INTO a pixie is almost comical.
I will just be so happy to finally not see my scalp anymore.
Here's what I'm kind of hoping for. Wishful thinking, I'm sure.
Thanks for continuing to come along with me on this crazy journey. I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!
XOXO
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Great Appointment Today!
I met with the surgeon who will be performing my bilateral mastectomy today.
As she examined my breasts and lymph nodes, her remarks were, "This is remarkable. Truly remarkable. Your tissue feels like a normal exam. I am not feeling any inflamed areas or lumps. I think that you may be one of the 10-15% of people who enter surgery with no signs of cancer. This is the best case scenario."
She also thought it was pretty great that I responded this well to chemo after only two chemo treatments to date. I told her, while I appreciate the medicine, I'm pretty sure God had something to do with it. :)
My mastectomy has been scheduled for January 3rd. It will take about one hour to remove them. It's a little sad considering it took so long to grow them.
The plastic surgeon will put tissue expanders in right after. That should take another hour. He will have to cut through muscle to place them in my chest wall. They say it's pretty painful and that the 'mounds' will be hard, too high and too big. I will have to wear drains for about a week following and will have limited movement. I will also spend two nights in the hospital.
I'm mentally prepared for the pain. I have my eye on the prize.....NEW CANCER-FREE BOOBS!
Reconstruction surgery will *probably* be scheduled in May.
The kids and I painted our 'practice pumpkins'. In honor of breast cancer awareness month, a ribbon seemed like the best choice for mine. I am soooo not an artist.
I have my third chemo tomorrow afternoon. One of my besties, Jamie, will be driving from Wisconsin to sit with me at the clinic. I'm so excited to chat with her for 4 whole hours! What a great friend to leave her triplets for the day, drive to Minnesota and spend her day surrounded by cancer patients. It sounds like a depressing day, but really, the people at the clinic are all in pretty good spirits and the staff is fabulous.
The last time we got together for that long, we were on an airplane headed to Georgia.
While we sat on the tarmac at 8 am and waited for the wings to be de-iced, a gentleman (I use that term loosely) turned around, looked at us and said, "Do your husbands drink heavily?"
He obviously didn't like our excited banter. Unfortunately for him, it just made us giggle louder and talk more.
I hope he learned his lesson. If you don't have something nice to say, shut the hell up! :)
Thanks again for everything. You guys have not stopped praying for my family. I love you to death. Seriously.
As she examined my breasts and lymph nodes, her remarks were, "This is remarkable. Truly remarkable. Your tissue feels like a normal exam. I am not feeling any inflamed areas or lumps. I think that you may be one of the 10-15% of people who enter surgery with no signs of cancer. This is the best case scenario."
She also thought it was pretty great that I responded this well to chemo after only two chemo treatments to date. I told her, while I appreciate the medicine, I'm pretty sure God had something to do with it. :)
My mastectomy has been scheduled for January 3rd. It will take about one hour to remove them. It's a little sad considering it took so long to grow them.
The plastic surgeon will put tissue expanders in right after. That should take another hour. He will have to cut through muscle to place them in my chest wall. They say it's pretty painful and that the 'mounds' will be hard, too high and too big. I will have to wear drains for about a week following and will have limited movement. I will also spend two nights in the hospital.
I'm mentally prepared for the pain. I have my eye on the prize.....NEW CANCER-FREE BOOBS!
Reconstruction surgery will *probably* be scheduled in May.
The kids and I painted our 'practice pumpkins'. In honor of breast cancer awareness month, a ribbon seemed like the best choice for mine. I am soooo not an artist.
I have my third chemo tomorrow afternoon. One of my besties, Jamie, will be driving from Wisconsin to sit with me at the clinic. I'm so excited to chat with her for 4 whole hours! What a great friend to leave her triplets for the day, drive to Minnesota and spend her day surrounded by cancer patients. It sounds like a depressing day, but really, the people at the clinic are all in pretty good spirits and the staff is fabulous.
The last time we got together for that long, we were on an airplane headed to Georgia.
While we sat on the tarmac at 8 am and waited for the wings to be de-iced, a gentleman (I use that term loosely) turned around, looked at us and said, "Do your husbands drink heavily?"
He obviously didn't like our excited banter. Unfortunately for him, it just made us giggle louder and talk more.
I hope he learned his lesson. If you don't have something nice to say, shut the hell up! :)
Thanks again for everything. You guys have not stopped praying for my family. I love you to death. Seriously.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)