Fat Grafting Complete!

I had my fat grafting surgery on 12/20. It went wonderfully and the pain was very minimal.
I took pain pills the first night and was able to get by on just Tylenol after that.
I received a super sexy compression garment that I have to wear around the clock for two weeks.
It goes to my knees and up to my boobs. It's Spanx x50 and is NOT comfortable.
Because I haven't blogged in so long, tomorrow is actually the end of my two weeks..I won't miss my grandma girdle one bit.

Here is a picture of me getting ready for surgery. My husband and dad were at my surgery. My mom, thankfully, stayed with our kids.
Dr. Migliori prepped me for *hopefully* the last time.
I love that man but if I never see him again, that's okay with me.

Here is me soon after surgery. Groggy, bruised and swollen is never pretty....and yet I still post it.
I have no shame. :)
The bandages show where the fat from my thighs and stomach were injected. I have eight little puncture wounds total, four on my boobs, two on my hips and two on my stomach. Each hole has two sutures.

I'm rocking some pretty rad bruises on my thighs also. They got much worse a few days after this; however, it's not too painful.

For the record, liposuction obviously doesn't remove cellulite. Again, I can't believe I'm posting this.

I really like my new boobs. I'm extremely happy with Dr. Migs work, as usual, and I'm glad I decided to do the grafting.

So, I'm done with everything for now.
I'm relieved, but still feel uneasy.
More than anything, I'm thankful.
2013 is going to be my year.

Approved!

After practically begging to be accepted into the Mary Claire-King study; I finally got a letter that, even though they weren't taking new participants, if I could get blood samples to them by the end of December, they wanted to include me.
I was really excited until I realized my cancer was so weird that I was being accepted into a national closed study.
Either way, it's exciting.

I should know more about my genes in 8-12 months. I opted to know the results; which many did not.
If there are any mutations that could possibly cause future cancers, I want to know about them.
I had three blood vials drawn and drove them to Fed Ex. Who knew it was so easy to ship body fluids?

On a somewhat unrelated topic, because I tested negative for the BRCA testing last year, I opted to do BART testing a few weeks ago. 

The BRCA Analysis Rearrangement Test (BART) is an additional level of analysis, which goes beyond DNA sequences of genes. BART looks for large rearrangements, deletions, and insertions of DNA material. A positive BART result has the same medical implications as a mutation found with more routine types of analysis. Anyone who has had comprehensive BRCA1/2 testing could go on for BART analysis

Drumroll, please..................

Although I don't understand much of what these letters say, I DO understand NO MUTATION DETECTED and REDUCED RISK. :)

More Research Studies!

At my most recent appointment with my oncologist, she mentioned an ongoing study that she thought I should think about participating in.
I met with the genetics counselor Friday to go over the details.

Basically, Dr. Mary-Claire King, who is the guru of all things BRCA, is doing a study called: Genomic Analysis of Inherited Breast Cancers.
Anyone who was under 40 at the age of invasive breast cancer diagnosis and had BRCA testing and/or has triple negative breast cancer is a candidate.

By giving a blood sample, it will be tested for currently known breast cancer genes, as well as about 20 others genes that may not be implicated in inherited cancer yet.
They are working to find out what genes these people have in common. I think it will be a good indicator of predicting future cancer risks at younger ages. We need all the research we can get, right?

This study may or may not offer me any more information on why I was diagnosed with breast cancer at a young age, with no family history. It may offer me information on genes I have that have been known to cause other types of cancers.
The genetics counselor said that some people choose not to do the study because "ignorance is bliss."
I think knowledge is power and I want to know everything that can be known about what's going on in my body.
It may take up to 6 months for my results.

During this same appointment, I banked some DNA.  For $95, my DNA will be stored at Prevention Genetics for at least 20 years. If my family ever has health issues or concerns and I'm no longer here, they can request my sample be pulled and analyzed. I'm completely intrigued by this whole process of banking things.

If this day wasn't already exciting enough, I had an appointment with my cardiologist to go over my recent echocardiogram. My ejection fraction is still 45%. It's not hot, but not terrible. It hasn't changed at all since my last echo six months ago. He upped my metoprolol and said I should come back in a year.

While there, I asked when I could have my kids checked to see if they inherited my left ventricular non-compaction. He said there is actually a study ongoing currently and if I wanted to be a part of it, they would do all my genetic testing for free and possibly my blood relatives if I had certain genes. Bonus!
This condition is really rare and there's not much research yet, so I'm glad I can be a part of the study.
Fingers crossed this is just a birth defect and I didn't pass on wonky genes to my kiddos.

Long and boring update.....
looking forward to my lipo and rounder boobs 12/20!

Pinkwashing

I love October. I love the weather, the leaves changing color and I also love the pink ribbons and cancer awareness craziness I see everywhere I look. 

I read on other people's blogs that they are sick of pink ribbons on everything. 
I disagree for the most part. 
I LOVE pink ribbons; what I don't like is "pinkwashing."

A pinkwasher is a company or organization that claims to care about breast cancer by promoting a pink ribbon product, but at the same time produces, manufactures and/or sells products that are linked to the disease.

According to the Think Before You Pink website, these are the questions you should ask yourself before being purchasing something because of the pink ribbon.

1. Does any money from this purchase go to fund breast cancer programs?
2. What organization will get the money? What will they do with the funds? 
3. Is there a "cap" on how much the company will donate? Has the cap already been met?

If you aren't able to answer these questions, you could absolutely buy whatever it is; just know that breast cancer research may not be receiving a penny of it. 

EXAMPLE: In 2011, Susan G. Komen for the Cure commissioned a perfume called Promise Me that contains unlisted chemicals that are regulated as toxic and hazardous, have not been adequately evaluated for human safety, and have demonstrated negative health effects. Although Komen says they will reformulate future versions of the perfume, without official adoption of the precautionary principle, there is no guarantee that future versions would be better.

EXAMPLE: In 2010, Dansko shoe company sold pink ribbon clogs. Consumers likely thought that a portion of theirpurchase of pink ribbon clogs went to a breast cancer program. However, purchase of the pink ribbon clogs was not connected to Dansko’s donation—none of the portion of the sales went toward their already set donation of $25,000 to Susan G. Komen for the Cure. No matter whether or not you bought the clogs, their donation was the same.

Your Questions

I love the feature of my blog where I can see where my visitors come from and what keywords they googled to get here.

Some of them are the expected words like breast cancer, breast reconstruction and tissue expanders. Others leave me scratching my head. Lately, from all over the United States, I have received hits on my site for people searching for "sick chest tattoos" and "toddler pacifiers." I'm sure mastectomy scars aren't what these searchers are seeking.

Anyways, I receive a lot of private messages asking things about my treatment and tips I may have. I will list a few of the most common ones here.

What did you use during radiation to keep your skin hydrated? 
I used a combination of Miaderm, coconut oil and emu oil.
I greased up every few hours and wore an old shirt. My plastic surgeon is amazed at how good my skin looks now.

Which Minnesota doctors did you use and would you recommend them?
I would absolutely, without a doubt recommend every one of my doctors. They're amazing.

My oncologist is Dr. Hartung. She's hilarious and a straight shooter. I literally trust her with my life.

My plastic surgeon is Dr. Migliori. He is a magician and a big teddy bear. He gave me boobs....freaking awesome boobs. He has the best bedside manner and not once did I see him where he didn't hug me.

My surgeon is Dr. Bretzke. She removed my breasts and lymph nodes. She declared me cancer-free and told me she hoped to never see me again. While I love her dearly, I concur.

What size did you end up?
Yes, strangers ask me that. I find it funny and I'm glad people feel comfortable enough to ask what they want. I asked for a C, but wanted a D.  Dr Migliori said that he would do his best. I am now a 34 DD or a 36 D, depending on the brand. I'm still waiting for a good sizing at Nordstrom's. I have a feeling I might actually be a different size than I'm wearing.

The big difference with real boobs and reconstructed boobs is that I don't have that cone look to my boobs anymore, so some bras have extra material in the cup that I can't fill. Mine are round, but not stripper-ish.


 As always, I welcome your questions. Email me! :)

Post Surgery

I'm sorry that I haven't updated yet.

Dr. Bretzke said that my umbilical hernia was worse than she expected, so she did have to use mesh in my stomach.
It still hurts sooooo bad. It's definitely comparable to the pain from a c-section.

When Dr. Migliori went in to take out my port, he said that I was definitely lucky that my surgery was when it was. As he cut my skin, he was able to see that the port was only about a millimeter from the surface and there was old dried blood surrounding it, like a hematoma. He thinks within a few days, my body would have expelled the port and I would have been left with an open direct line to my heart and possible infection. Thank God my surgery was when it was!

Dr. Migliori was able to place 550 ccs implants in. I am ecstatic; he wasn't sure I would be able to even get 500 ccs because of what radiation typically does to your skin. He praised me for taking such good care during the process. I think he was a little shocked that I didn't use anything special, just coconut oil.

I have very little pain in my chest and boobs for now.
I have to wear an underwire bra around the clock for three weeks.
Here are an obnoxious amount of pictures. :)

Waiting patiently for the anesthesiologist.

                                                                            Chatting

Because I had lymph nodes removed during my mastectomy, I can no longer have blood pressure taken or blood draws done from that arm. Doing so would put me at an even higher risk for lymphedema.

This is a little reminder for everyone in the surgery room. 

                                                       Post surgery. Good drugs!

This is me on surgery day. This picture shows all of the areas that I had worked on. I'm so swollen; I can't believe I'm posting this. 

 This is day 2. Eric and I went to Edina to meet with Dr. Migliori again. He said everything looks awesome and he was able to take off the Ace bandage. One more day until I can shower.

Dr Migs guaranteed me that my boobs would look better one the swelling went down. I'm happy with them already. The black bra I'm wearing in the picture is a D cup. I had hoped to be a large C or small D. I got my wish! I have only a tiny amount of blood around the cut he made and virtually no bruising.

                             This is my miracle worker, Dr. Migliori. Love, love, love him!!

Thanks again to everyone for the calls, emails and facebook messages. You guys are rockstars!!

One more day!

It's 5 a.m. the day before my final surgery and I can't sleep. Honestly, I'm just sitting here drinking coffee and flexing my boobs. It's a fun party trick I realized I could do shortly after my expander surgery. Because my tissue expanders are in a nice little pocket inside of my chest wall, when I move my arms or chest muscles, my boobs move. It's obnoxious and hilarious. I, of course, hope my newly acquired trick sticks with me after surgery tomorrow. How fun would that be at the gym?

 Just in case I lose my "gift", I had Eric take a short video of me flexing last night. I'm trying to post it but haven't figured out how to do that yet. Youtube is a little too sophisticated for me. I also had Eric take a picture of my port-a-cath. This little button has allowed me to not feel any of my sticks during the last year. I have received all of my chemotherapy and herceptin infusions through my "little friend." My port is the main reason I am so excited for surgery. Although extremely helpful, I hate this thing. There are cords under my skin that lead to my artery. They're gross and feel strange. It's a bitch trying to find shirts that don't show my "button." Occasionally, I just slap a band-aid on it and call it good.

The bruising has been pretty bad for the past few months. My body just wants it out.

 On to surgery stuff, I have to check in at Abbott at 6 am for my 8 am surgery. Dr. Bretzke will do surgery on my umbilical hernia first...a special shout out to my 7 lb 1 oz and 6 lb 5 oz twins! :) Next, Dr. Migliori will do my expander/implant swap. The complete time should be under around 2-3 hours. They are estimating that I will be discharged around noon if all goes well. My bag is packed and I'm ready to put this whole cancer saga behind me.

When I read posts from the beginning of this journey, I talked a lot about the fantastic new boobs I would have at the end. I have since learned, boobs aren't that big of a deal....shocking, I know. Even with my new boobs, grand as they may be....and they WILL be grand! I will still have no feeling in them. I could plop them right on a stove burner and wouldn't feel a thing. I still have no nipples, which oddly doesn't seem odd to me anymore. I still have an arm that feels like raw chicken. I have very little feeling there and it still isn't completely weight bearing. My fingers still tingly and go numb.

As normal as I look now from the outside, breast cancer has still taken it's toll.
I'm still adapting, but I'm thankful.

Thanks for all of your support and prayers!

I love youtube.

For my lovers of gore, I found a clip of what my surgery will most likely look like. I will be having my breast tissue expanders taken out (I love how they just pop out in the video) and my new implants put in.

Surgeries are fascinating!

If you're easily grossed out or have no interest in the process, don't click the link.
Surgery Link

Disclaimer: This is NOT me.

June

Everything has been business as usual around here. The kids are busy with summer activities. I'm busy trying to get my house in order and Eric is busy working to pay for it all. :)

I had chemo again on Monday. I'm happy to report that I only have three more left. My last Herceptin infusion is two months from today.
My final surgery is so close that I can hardly stand it....71 more days!!

My left wrist and shoulder are still pretty achy. It's likely that I will always have pains in that arm. I also notice a lot of tingling and numbness in my fingertips. Normal complaints, I'm told.
Despite that, I'm feeling pretty damn good.

People don't look at me like I'm sick anymore. Friends have stopped asking how I'm feeling. My doctor appointments are now few and far between.
I missed this.
I love the normalcy that this summer has brought. I never want it to end.


Here are some pics of June. It's been exciting and busy!
We went on our yearly Father's Day adventure to Valleyfair last weekend.

The week prior to that, I met some friends in Chicago for a long weekend. Too much fun!

Conflicted

I have taken a little break from this blog. I have been enjoying being healthy, spending time with my family and even finding time to do a little traveling.

On one hand, I want to put cancer behind me. That includes this blog and all that it contains.
I am 3 months away from my last chemo and my final reconstructive surgery. What will I write about after all of that? I barely have enough to write about now.

On the other hand, I am still getting tons of page views from all over from people who need information on breast cancer. I feel like I would be doing a disservice to them if I just stopped. Even though I have so little to share now that I'm N.E.D., I still have more knowledge about cancer than most people. I still want to help.
I'm just torn.

Another thing I feel completely conflicted about is the fact that I left out a very important part of my story and I feel guilty for not sharing that part of me.
At the time, I was so confused. I was in disbelief. I was in shock. I was in awe.
I needed time to process who I had met and what I had witnessed.

Here is my testimony.

Soon after my diagnosis, I was invited by a friend to meet with a "Man of God" named Larry Herlong. He travels the world preaching about God's goodness and is even able to manifest Jesus Christ through his own face.
I had heard what Larry was capable of but was a little skeptical, to say the least.

Within minutes of speaking with Larry, I was in full blown tears. I was at the lowest point in my life and searching for any sign that God really existed. I was tired. I needed a miracle. Larry made me feel safe as he stared into my eyes and told me what God had planned for me.

Larry prayed with me for which felt like only a few minutes, but was really over an hour. As he prayed, I sat frozen staring at him. His face began to distort and Jesus Christ himself stared back at me as clearly as Larry had been just seconds earlier. The area around Larry lit up like the brightest sunlight you could ever imagine. My eyes burned, I couldn't look away. I couldn't shut my tears off as I stared at Jesus. In the midst of Larry's prayers, I could hear him cast out the evil spirits in me that were causing my cancer. He made me repeat after him that I didn't have cancer.

Admittedly, I felt kind of silly yelling, "I don't have cancer!" when I had just been diagnosed weeks earlier.  When I voiced my concerns about getting cancer back in the future, Larry reassured me that God didn't send him to me to perform this miracle just so he could give me cancer again. Larry said I would beat cancer and it would be gone forever.  I hung on to those parting words from Larry and prayed for the best.

As you all know, when I went in for my September chemo, one month after I was diagnosed and 19 days after I met with Larry, my doctors could no longer feel the tumor in my breast that had been unmistakable weeks prior. They also couldn't find or feel the 1-inch area in my lymph node that was cancerous. My stage 2B tumors had somehow disappeared in less than one month.

The doctors were ecstatic. They were amazed that the chemo was working so fast and that I was having such a great response. There was a lot of head shaking going on in the doctor's office. I smiled knowing that we were all witnessing a miracle. I believed in God much more than the medicine.

In January 2012, when my surgeon told me that there were no signs of cancer anywhere in my body, I was so happy, but not entirely surprised.
I had been witnessing so many changes in myself, my life and in the people around me in the past few months that I knew that Larry was the real deal. I knew that I didn't have cancer because he spoke the words.

I vowed to live and love differently since that crazy day in August when I first met Larry. I'm still conflicted as I sit here contemplating whether I should REALLY post this, but I feel such a weight lifted off me for just writing this.

Part of me doesn't want to offend those of you who don't have the same beliefs as me. Part of me doesn't want my cancer-related blog to turn into anything but.

Thankfully, the biggest part of me...the pure part, wants to tell the whole world about the obstacle that God helped me overcome. I beat cancer and I didn't do it alone.
I want to tell people that miracles happen every day. I'm one of them.
God has bigger plans for me and I don't plan to disappoint him.

If anyone ever wants to talk Jesus, email me. :)

If I'm well enough to volunteer, I will.

I like to volunteer and I have a fun t-shirt collection to prove it. Last night was my first time manning the Susan G. Komen shirt pick up station at the Mall of America. I had a blast and met some great ladies. I can't wait to do it again next year.

The energy levels of the teams picking up their gear was amazing. It was so fun to see how pumped everyone is to be participating.

The Minnesota Susan G. Komen festivities start this weekend. Our big walk is on Sunday.
I'm so excited to be a part of it!!

Thanks again for your support! Coming soon will be donation totals and race pictures. Stay tuned!!

My Odd Tissue Expanders

I sometimes check my blog traffic to see what exactly people google to end up on my blog.
I see a ton of "tissue expanders"and "what will I look like after my mastectomy?" traffic.
I'm not surprised. That's exactly what I googled when I was first diagnosed. I found very little.

To make this blog work to it's fullest potential, I will show you what I look like. I hope it helps you to see that they're odd little buggers....but temporary.
It doesn't mean this is what you will look like, but it's a good starting point.

I have a serious love/hate relationships with my expanders.
I like them because they make me appear to have boobs....really large boobs, actually.
For someone like me, who had virtually NO boobs prior, I kind of enjoy them.

In the middle of the night when I can't get comfortable because they're poking me- and I feel like my ribs are breaking, I'm not such a fan.
It all evens out. Temporary, temporary!

Here's the good part to my story.....Dr. Migliori said that since my skin responded insanely well after radiation, I don't have to wait the full six months to have my exchange surgery.
I will be getting my new boobs on August 30th. Woo hoo!

This is pretty fabulous news.
Here are some pics of my crazy boobs now. The whole process of boobs, cancerous boob, no boobs, small boobs to big boobs is truly amazing.

Since my mastectomy on January 3rd, I have been inflated 500 ccs on the left and 540 ccs on the right.
The expanders were put in wide because of my need for radiation through the middle of my chest.
I have not worn a bra since January 3rd. I can run with these bad boys and they don't move an inch.
I should run more. :)

The last picture shows a dot in the middle of my ribs. That's one of my radiation tattoos. I have (I think) four of them. They're permanent.

Joyce's back....

...isn't it lovely?
Thanks for the support all the way in Texas!

Know Your WHOLE Body...not just your boobs.

I have had a few skin cancer scares in the past.
Last year, one of my skin biopsies came back as Basal Cell Carcinoma. It's a common skin cancer, but treatable if found early.

Since then, I have had a few other suspicious spots frozen off with liquid nitrogen. Here are pics of the two I had zapped today. This pic is after the nitrogen.

I seriously need to save up for Botox. This is ridiculous.

The process burns a little- and afterwards, a blister forms. I had one on my forehead and neck this time. I had been watching these for a while, but the color change was concerning to me. Dr. Pakzad thought that these spots were probably pre-cancerous and liquid nitrogen would be a good treatment.


I also had one spot on my arm that was flesh colored, but had recently become bumpy and scaly. Here's a pic. It was small in diameter, but the recent change in the color and texture of it made me nervous.
When in doubt, consult a specialist!

Dr. Pakzad felt that this one very well could be cancerous, so he did a biopsy. I should have results within 10 days. If it is cancer, I will go back to have the rest of it cut out and burned/frozen.

I will have another body check the end of May.

Disclaimer:
This post isn't to gross you out. It's just a little reminder to apply that sunscreen liberally and often.

Also, if you have any moles that you think have changed in color or shape, please see a dermatologist. Melanoma can be deadly.

Metformin Trial

About 7 years ago, Eric and I sought help from a reproductive endocrinologist because we were having trouble conceiving. I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.

Along with a whole gamut of drugs to help me ovulate, I was also given a drug called Metformin. Metformin is typically taken by diabetics, but was prescribed for me to reduce insulin levels and promote normal ovarian function.

It worked. I was on it for a few years but eventually went off it when we moved to Minnesota. I honestly have no idea why I went off it. It was probably because I wasn't in the market for more kids.

Fast forward to last week. I was googling more breast cancer trials. I am intrigued by new drugs that may be the answer to my prayers. I came across a Metformin trial that immediately peaked my interest.

I asked Dr. Hartung about it today and was told that I actually qualified for the trial. There's a HUGE study going on right now that approximately 3580 people will participate in. Half of the patients will receive Metformin, the other half will receive a placebo. The study should take about 3 years to fill enrollment and the results should be known in about 6 years. I did the paperwork and was signed up to begin next week.

I thought about it all the way home from Woodbury, when it suddenly occurred to me, why do I want to risk taking a placebo for 3-6 years when a drug that I KNOW my body tolerates and only costs pennies per day is available to me?

I immediately called my primary family doctor and told her about the study. I asked if I could go back on Metformin to treat my PCOS.

I'm excited to report that my prescription is at Target right now waiting for me to pick it up.
I will start taking the Met with my Tamoxifen tomorrow.

I will also be officially dropping out of the trial tomorrow. I can't take the chance that I would get a placebo.

I have a good feeling about this. :)

Just Another Bitch Slap From Reality

I went to my every three week Herceptin infusion today.
I was excited to see my doctor and nurse, who I haven't seen since late January.
I settled into my chair in the waiting room and waited for my name to be called.

While I waited, I noticed a man and woman in their 50's and a man in his 30's talking quietly. The woman was fighting back tears. The men were somber.
For some reason, I walked over to her, sat down and asked her if I could hug her.
She hugged me hard. I asked her if she had just been diagnosed. She sniffed as she said, "No, my daughter." and motioned down the hall.

I immediately started in with my success story, as I had so many times. "No worries! Breast cancer is highly treatable! I have no evidence of disease. It's not that bad...."
She started blankly at me and said, "She's 34. This is her second round."

Gulp.

I changed my speech to the "there are new advances every day!" line.
Our eyes locked and we both started bawling. I walked back to my seat feeling like I had been sucker punched. At that second, even I didn't believe the BS I was spewing.

A woman came to the front desk from the doctor's office hallway and started making her follow up appointments, as we all have to do.
I heard her schedule her PET scan and MRI.
She was calm. She was friendly to the receptionist.

I then watched as she walked over to the family I had just spoken to. Judging from that woman's demeanor, I would have had no idea that she was the one that had just been diagnosed for a second time in a few short years with breast cancer.

I couldn't help but stare as she walked arm and arm out of the oncology office with her family without saying a word. I also watched as all four of them embraced and collapsed the second they were safely out in the hallway.

Another sucker punch.
I had just witnessed my worst fear.
Why the hell hadn't I just minded my own business and let that lady weep in peace? Then, I would have had no idea about their story. I wouldn't have opened up my own raw wounds and emotions.

Just yesterday, I told Eric that I'm finally feeling like the old me.
Cancer thoughts weren't consuming me like they used to.

Now today, all I can think about is that poor girl. Her screening two months ago was clean. She was cancer-free. Now, her future is unknown and her prognosis is grim.
What a difference a day makes.

I'm sorry. What a buzz kill this post is.
It's reality... and sometimes, reality bites.

If anything, it's a good (much needed) reminder to not take a single day for granted.

My prayers and thoughts go out to that girl, whoever she is.

Hello, Old Friends!

Hello!

It's been a while. It seems that now that I'm not going from appointment to appointment, I have very little to write about.
I'm really enjoying my (boring) life! :)


Here are some updates:

My scabs from radiation are gone. My boobs are as smooth as rock hard baby butts.
I'm surprisingly sleeping okay with the expanders. Only 5.5 more months until these suckers come out.

I'm starting to like the way they look. Yes, they're too high, too hard and completely unnatural...but I have to admit that I really dig not wearing a bra. I have not worn a bra since December 2011. I feel so freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
I really think that once my implants are put in, I'm going to have some pretty rockin' tatas.

I have my next Herceptin infusion on April 16th. My list is getting pretty long with concerns I want to talk to Dr. Hartung about.
Now that I have no evidence of disease, (I'm still dancing with NED!) I'm pretty nervous I'm going to get cancer somewhere else.
It's a normal fear, I suppose.

I really want a hysterectomy. Previously, Dr. Hartung thought that the side effects would outweigh the benefits; but I want to revisit the conversation again.
I already have PCOS and have always had issues with cysts on my ovaries. I think they're little time bombs. I want all that junk out.

I also want to start taking Zometa. There are new studies out that shows it makes bones stronger so cancer would have a harder time metastisizing to my bones, if it were to come back. It will probably make me feel like crud, but it's worth talking about.

I am also at the point where I will begin taking Tamoxifen. It's a drug that I will take daily for five years. It has some side effects, but I guess I'll take being fat over dying of cancer.


I have NO signs of Lymphedema yet. My chances of getting it after chemo/lymph node removal/radiation was greater than 50%. It can still onset at any time, it just hasn't yet. I'm hopeful that's one effect of cancer that I will avoid.

My family is doing AWESOME. I couldn't ask for more.
Eric's parents came here for Easter and we had a great holiday.
We found a great new church (Eagle Brook) that even Eric's dad approved of! :)
I have already signed up for new member classes, small group and even baptism.
I feel like this is the missing piece to our puzzle- and we're excited to grow more with God.

Friendly Reminder

It's that time again....check your boobs! Seriously, you should do it.
Breast cancer comes in soooo many different forms and symptoms can come out of nowhere.
Know your bodies!


Please click this picture to make it bigger. It's a good reminder of what to look and feel for. I know I always learn better when food is involved.

Thank God for Unanswered Prayers

Too often, I start feeling sorry for myself and am quickly put in my place by God.

I was so bummed last week when the doctor put my treatment on hold. I was exhausted. I wasn't making it through the day without a nap and was still going to bed when it was barely dark each night. I was eating like crap. I had no energy.

I prayed and prayed that God would keep my skin in tact long enough to get through ten more treatments so I could just be done.
I prayed that He would give me the energy to get out of bed each day to get to radiation and to power through each afternoon so my kids could stay on their semi-normal schedules.

I'm not going to lie. Wednesday, I was pissed. I was sent home again from the hospital and told that my body needed the full seven days to heal. I was pissed at God for not listening. I was pissed at my body for failing me once again. I was in a tired, overly emotional state. It was ugly.

Fast forward four days and I feel fan-freaking-tastic. Seriously.
My "big giant boob" has healed so much in just a week. It's now at the gross peeling stage, but is bleeding much less. The break was EXACTLY what I needed. So, I'm going to finish rads a week later than previously planned....so what?

During my days off, my lovely husband let me sleep in every morning. That man's a gem. I made it through every day without a nap.
Together, we tackled a few projects this weekend and spent a lot of time together playing outside with the kids.

My dad unexpectedly came to visit on Saturday. He couldn't have come at a better time.
We love him so much and wish he would come see us more often. (hint, hint) :)

We even pulled out those dusty party pants and made it to TWO St. Patrick's Day parties. My poor liver.

I feel so much better and I'm actually excited to get back to radiation tomorrow to finish this out.

God proves time and time again that I need to get over myself and just be patient.
He is amazing and His timing is perfect!

I'm not surprised.

I was hoping to duck out after radiation today without running into Dr Sullivan. Unfortunately, (fortunately, maybe?) she called the techs and told them to call her when I was about done so she could come check my skin.

I'm officially taking a little break from treatment. She wanted me to take a break until next Thursday. I compromised by telling her I would see her Wednesday. She agreed.

Because of how broken down my skin is, we are going to do the remainder of my sessions without the bolus and hope that does the trick. The last week of radiation is called boost radiation and it targets the incision.
Because that's where my main issue is, she has no idea how this is going to work.
We'll watch it closely.

To say that I'm bummed is an understatement. Even though it's just a few days, it's still a delay.
There's a reason that radiation is scheduled 5x per week for 6.5 weeks. Obviously, that is what has proven most effective.
For once, I just wish something would go as expected. I know this is best for my body but I just wish that I could have made it through as planned. I'm disappointed.

I'm also a little nervous that my "final boob" is going to be a train wreck because radiation has been so hard on my skin. The plastic surgeon will only be able to do so much.

It itches, it burns, and now, it bleeds.

I have finished 23 of 33 treatments.
There's an end in sight, but a few hurdles along the way. A few prayers for healing would be appreciated!

Are these pictures grossing you out yet?