It's 8:40 a.m. and I just got a call from my surgeon. It's one that I've been dreading since my diagnosis.
As positive as I have portrayed myself to all of you, I've been crumbling inside. I just knew the cancer had spread. I felt pains I had never felt before and became hyper-sensitive to every ache and shiver. I was pretty sure it had spread through my body and was killing me more every minute.
I was at my worst yesterday.
Today is different. Today I got up. I showered. I straightened my hair. Why not? I won't have it much longer. :)
I made it until 8 am without having to pop a xanax. I fed my kids, played with them and cuddled longer than usual with them.
Today, I decided, no matter what the doctor told me, I was choosing to live.
I would be the case in textbooks of the 31 year old who beat cancer even though she was given low odds. No matter what, I was not going to just lie down and die. Not this cat. Not now.
Here's the twist. The call came. A somewhat cheerful Dr Schmidt said, "Angela, this is a good day for you! The cancer is a little worse in the breast than we had immediately thought, but it has NOT spread past your lymph nodes. We can take care of this."
I cried. She cried.
She told me to go tell my dad because she had promised him that she would do everything in her power to save his little girl.
This is the best news ever. God is GREAT. All of you are great. Your prayers were heard and God took mercy on me and is giving me a chance to live a little longer. Today, I still have cancer that will rock me to my core over this next year, but I DIDN'T receive news that I was no longer curable.
I just want to celebrate....after I meet with my oncologist at 11. :)