Wednesday, August 29, 2012

One more day!

It's 5 a.m. the day before my final surgery and I can't sleep. Honestly, I'm just sitting here drinking coffee and flexing my boobs. It's a fun party trick I realized I could do shortly after my expander surgery. Because my tissue expanders are in a nice little pocket inside of my chest wall, when I move my arms or chest muscles, my boobs move. It's obnoxious and hilarious. I, of course, hope my newly acquired trick sticks with me after surgery tomorrow. How fun would that be at the gym?

 Just in case I lose my "gift", I had Eric take a short video of me flexing last night. I'm trying to post it but haven't figured out how to do that yet. Youtube is a little too sophisticated for me. I also had Eric take a picture of my port-a-cath. This little button has allowed me to not feel any of my sticks during the last year. I have received all of my chemotherapy and herceptin infusions through my "little friend." My port is the main reason I am so excited for surgery. Although extremely helpful, I hate this thing. There are cords under my skin that lead to my artery. They're gross and feel strange. It's a bitch trying to find shirts that don't show my "button." Occasionally, I just slap a band-aid on it and call it good.
The bruising has been pretty bad for the past few months. My body just wants it out.

 On to surgery stuff, I have to check in at Abbott at 6 am for my 8 am surgery. Dr. Bretzke will do surgery on my umbilical hernia first...a special shout out to my 7 lb 1 oz and 6 lb 5 oz twins! :) Next, Dr. Migliori will do my expander/implant swap. The complete time should be under around 2-3 hours. They are estimating that I will be discharged around noon if all goes well. My bag is packed and I'm ready to put this whole cancer saga behind me.

When I read posts from the beginning of this journey, I talked a lot about the fantastic new boobs I would have at the end. I have since learned, boobs aren't that big of a deal....shocking, I know. Even with my new boobs, grand as they may be....and they WILL be grand! I will still have no feeling in them. I could plop them right on a stove burner and wouldn't feel a thing. I still have no nipples, which oddly doesn't seem odd to me anymore. I still have an arm that feels like raw chicken. I have very little feeling there and it still isn't completely weight bearing. My fingers still tingly and go numb.

As normal as I look now from the outside, breast cancer has still taken it's toll.
I'm still adapting, but I'm thankful.

Thanks for all of your support and prayers!

Saturday, August 11, 2012

It's My Cancerversary

Today, one year ago, my life changed forever. I was diagnosed with an aggressive breast cancer and was sure that I was dying.

Since then, I have received my miracle from the Lord and am now completely cancer-free. I was blessed with an amazing medical team who pulled out all of the stops and provided me with the best care possible. My friends, both near and far, are the greatest I could ever ask for and my family has supported and loved me more than I deserved.

I don't think about breast cancer every day anymore. I don't panic that the aches I do have are a recurrence waiting to happen. I live my life and I thank God every single day that I wake up; it's how I should have been living all along.

I'm almost at the end of my cancer journey. I will have my final Herceptin infusion on August 20th and my last Breast Reconstruction surgery on August 30th. I am looking forward to less appointments and finally getting my chemo port removed.

Here are some pics of us since I've last posted. This is at one of my July infusions, in serious need of a haircut.
I was texted this picture from the Relay for Life in Watertown, SD. My brother and his family walked for me. It's so weird to see your name on a bag. It's just one of those crazy times that you think, Wow, my name is on a fucking cancer bag...this sucks. A second later, you realize that you're damn happy that the bag says "in honor of" instead of "in memory of."
This was probably the highlight of my summer. Eric and I chose to be baptized along with 900 other people from our church in Lake Johanna. It was amazing and we came out of the water completely different people.
These are my new magic glasses. My job allows me to work from home and requires a lot of time on the phone and computer. I bought these glasses so my kids would be able to tell when mom was just surfing the web or actually working. I tell them that when Mom's magic glasses are on, my ears don't hear anyone who is not on the phone. So far, it has been working. :)
This is my lovely family.
My new ring. Eric and the kids gave me a Cancerversary ring. It's pink and sparkly and I love it!
Life has been great. Summer is coming to an end and Karsyn starts school Monday. I have been richly blessed. I think I should eat cake.