Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Hell Week

We're halfway through Hell Week and it hasn't even been that bad yet!

After numerous meetings with potential doctors, I have chosen my new Dream Team. I will be receiving cancer treatment care from Dr. Ali at Minnesota Oncology.

The chemo cocktail we are trying first will be Taxotere-Carboplatin-Herceptin-Perjeta. My port will be surgically implanted tomorrow at U of M and I am scheduled to start chemo on Friday morning in Fridley. 
I will do two cycles of TCH+P and then rescan. After six cycles, if the tumors have shrunk, I will continue with just the Herceptin-Perjeta for as long as the drug works. When it stops working, we go to plan B. 

The sucky part about Stage IV is the "when" vs. "if." Doctors don't say "if the treatment stops working" like they used to. They now all say, "when it stops working."
I get it- but I would really just like everyone to put their positive pants on for a bit longer.

I have also begun a (legal) daily cannibis oil treatment. I will be updosing daily beginning at 10mg THC plus CBD up to 1000 mg THC plus CBD. That should occur 23 days from now. Once at the 1000 mg, I will stay at that dose for three months and then begin a maintenance dose. I have chosen this treatment in addition to chemo because I know it will work for eliminating my tumors, reducing nausea and hopefully managing my pain. If I were ballsier and older, I would do this instead of chemo...but I'm not. 
Dr. Feel Good

My dad is still here and will be for quite some time. Eric is still working as much as possible while getting me to where I need to be and the kids are still doing the school thing- with thanks to Stacy.
Our bellies have been filled by neighbors and friends and our hearts are full from all of you.

You are amazing. XOXO

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Here We Go Again!

Hi Again!
Anyone still here?
I know..... I didn't ever want to come back either.

Well, I made it 3 whole years cancer-free. I had finally stopped thinking about it coming back and that's when it did. Cancer is sneaky like that.

Rewind to December. I had a nasty upper respiratory infection / possible Pneumonia that I never got checked because my entire family was sick and mom's go to the doctor last.

While in Sioux Falls over Christmas, I experienced a ton of chest pain and I thought I had possibly broken some ribs from coughing. We visited acute care on 12/26 and after a chest scan, I was told my lungs were clear and it was just Costochronditis.

I made it a few more weeks before it hurt to sneeze, cough, bend down, sleep and sometimes breathe. I visited my chiropractor numerous times, but the pain always came right back.

My gut told me it was probably more serious than Costo, so I called my oncologist to request a PET scan. I hadn't had one since I received the all-clear 3 years ago and I didn't really expect the grim news I received.

I had my scan on Monday morning and received a call that evening from my oncologist that my cancer had returned in multiple places throughout my bones and liver. I was scheduled for a liver biopsy, which took place this morning.

Once the results are in, we will know what treatment options are available and where to start. I have numerous appointments next week with oncologists all over Minnesota and I am seriously considering seeking treatment at MD Anderson in Houston if I qualify for a trial.

Never a dull moment.

The second we announced the cancer returned, we began receiving an outpouring of love and prayers from everyone around us. We needed that. We are at peace with what we will hear next week, although we are disappointed that I am now Stage IV, and therefore, no longer curable.

God still has a plan for me.

Liver in a cup--yum!

Friday, May 10, 2013

Long Time No Blog!

First update....
I officially am able to participate in the Susan G. Komen 3-day this year. With the help of so many, I was able to raise the necessary $2,300. I'm so excited!

Next, I had my yearly skin check with the dermatologist this week. I had one spot burnt with liquid nitrogen and two areas biopsied. The results came back that the questionable spots were indeed skin cancer. Luckily, like last time, they are basal cell carcinoma and not melanoma.
I have an appointment next week to take care of the areas fully.

A few weeks back I realized my back was hurting more than usual. My oncologist always says if something hurts for more than two weeks and the pain doesn't go away with a pain reliever, I need to have scans. My chiropractor didn't see any cancerous spots on my x-rays but we opted to have a bone scan anyway. Tumors and the spread of cancer will generally show up earlier on a bone scan than x-ray. There were no signs of cancer...yay! However, I did show arthritic uptake in my shoulder, knee, and ankle.
I get all the old people diseases.

We're kicking off the first of many fundraising walks and runs on Sunday with the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. This walk means a lot to me and I'm so excited to be able to spend the day with my fabulous friends and zillions of strangers. People at cancer walks are so damn excited and colorful. It makes for good people watching and makes my energy level skyrocket for weeks. 
Maybe I'll make the news again this year! :)

Nothing else notable is going on. Karsyn is looking forward to the end of 1st grade and the boys are so excited to start Kindergarten in August. 
We plan on having a very busy, but fun summer. 
Bring on the beautiful weather!

Friday, January 25, 2013

Thank You, Annie!

This hot little tottie is our first cash donor. Thank you for supporting Walkers for Knockers, Annie!

God, she's cute.

Thursday, January 24, 2013


My sad little fundraising widget is still showing all zeros. :(
Someone just has to want to throw the first dollar to us for a great cause.
Please!! Let's get the ball rolling, friends!

What is the Susan G. Komen 3-Day™?
Thousands of women and men come together, each raising money for Susan G. Komen for the Cure®. Then they take their commitment to end breast cancer one step further and walk 60 miles over the course of three days.

Seventy-five percent of the net proceeds raised by the Komen 3-Day help support national research and large public health outreach programs. The remaining 25 percent supports local community and Affiliate outreach programs. Virtually every major advance in the fight against breast cancer in the last 30 years has been impacted by a Susan G. Komen grant.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Cancer Made Me Do It

I had lunch with my good friend, Sharon, last week. She is also a breast cancer survivor and one of the few people who 'gets' everything I'm feeling.

We talked about how, if given the chance, neither one of us would give our cancer diagnosis back.
We are better people because of it.
We are strong, able, and we want to raise money and awareness so that someone else won't have to fight the battle that we did.
We want to see a cure for breast cancer in our lifetime.

We have decided that, not only are we going to do the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure 5k walk on Mother's Day, we are also going to commit to raising at least $2300 each before August 2013, so we are able to participate in the 60-mile, 3-day Susan G. Komen walk.
Beating cancer has made us feel like we can accomplish anything. 

I can walk the 60 miles, but I need your help with the fundraising.
No amount is too small;  All donations are tax-deductible and it's an amazing cause.

Please considering donating to our team, Walkers for Knockers. Nice name, huh? :)  There's a link in my sidebar. It only takes a minute and will bring us closer to our goal.
Seventy-five percent of the net proceeds raised by the Susan G. Komen 3-Day™ help fund national research and large public health outreach programs. The remaining 25 percent helps fund local community and Affiliate support and outreach programs.

**We are always welcoming new team members; if you're interested in walking with us,  contact me!**

Thursday, January 3, 2013

What a difference a year makes.....

On this day last year, I had my radical bilateral mastectomy surgery.
I'm in awe of what a difference a year makes.
Keep praying for a cure!

01/03/12: post-surgery

12/31/12: Happy New Year!

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Fat Grafting Complete!

I had my fat grafting surgery on 12/20. It went wonderfully and the pain was very minimal.
I took pain pills the first night and was able to get by on just Tylenol after that.
I received a super sexy compression garment that I have to wear around the clock for two weeks.
It goes to my knees and up to my boobs. It's Spanx x50 and is NOT comfortable.
Because I haven't blogged in so long, tomorrow is actually the end of my two weeks..I won't miss my grandma girdle one bit.

Here is a picture of me getting ready for surgery. My husband and dad were at my surgery. My mom, thankfully, stayed with our kids.
Dr. Migliori prepped me for *hopefully* the last time.
I love that man but if I never see him again, that's okay with me.

Here is me soon after surgery. Groggy, bruised and swollen is never pretty....and yet I still post it.
I have no shame. :)
The bandages show where the fat from my thighs and stomach were injected. I have eight little puncture wounds total, four on my boobs, two on my hips and two on my stomach. Each hole has two sutures.

I'm rocking some pretty rad bruises on my thighs also. They got much worse a few days after this; however, it's not too painful.
For the record, liposuction obviously doesn't remove cellulite. Again, I can't believe I'm posting this.

I really like my new boobs. I'm extremely happy with Dr. Migs work, as usual, and I'm glad I decided to do the grafting.

So, I'm done with everything for now.
I'm relieved, but still feel uneasy.
More than anything, I'm thankful.
2013 is going to be my year.

Friday, December 21, 2012


After practically begging to be accepted into the Mary Claire-King study; I finally got a letter that, even though they weren't taking new participants, if I could get blood samples to them by the end of December, they wanted to include me.
I was really excited until I realized my cancer was so weird that I was being accepted into a national closed study.
Either way, it's exciting.

I should know more about my genes in 8-12 months. I opted to know the results; which many did not.
If there are any mutations that could possibly cause future cancers, I want to know about them.
I had three blood vials drawn and drove them to Fed Ex. Who knew it was so easy to ship body fluids?

On a somewhat unrelated topic, because I tested negative for the BRCA testing last year, I opted to do BART testing a few weeks ago. 

The BRCA Analysis Rearrangement Test (BART) is an additional level of analysis, which goes beyond DNA sequences of genes. BART looks for large rearrangements, deletions, and insertions of DNA material. A positive BART result has the same medical implications as a mutation found with more routine types of analysis. Anyone who has had comprehensive BRCA1/2 testing could go on for BART analysis

Drumroll, please..................

Although I don't understand much of what these letters say, I DO understand NO MUTATION DETECTED and REDUCED RISK. :)

Sunday, November 4, 2012

More Research Studies!

At my most recent appointment with my oncologist, she mentioned an ongoing study that she thought I should think about participating in.
I met with the genetics counselor Friday to go over the details.

Basically, Dr. Mary-Claire King, who is the guru of all things BRCA, is doing a study called: Genomic Analysis of Inherited Breast Cancers.
Anyone who was under 40 at the age of invasive breast cancer diagnosis and had BRCA testing and/or has triple negative breast cancer is a candidate.

By giving a blood sample, it will be tested for currently known breast cancer genes, as well as about 20 others genes that may not be implicated in inherited cancer yet.
They are working to find out what genes these people have in common. I think it will be a good indicator of predicting future cancer risks at younger ages. We need all the research we can get, right?

This study may or may not offer me any more information on why I was diagnosed with breast cancer at a young age, with no family history. It may offer me information on genes I have that have been known to cause other types of cancers.
The genetics counselor said that some people choose not to do the study because "ignorance is bliss."
I think knowledge is power and I want to know everything that can be known about what's going on in my body.
It may take up to 6 months for my results.

During this same appointment, I banked some DNA.  For $95, my DNA will be stored at Prevention Genetics for at least 20 years. If my family ever has health issues or concerns and I'm no longer here, they can request my sample be pulled and analyzed. I'm completely intrigued by this whole process of banking things.

If this day wasn't already exciting enough, I had an appointment with my cardiologist to go over my recent echocardiogram. My ejection fraction is still 45%. It's not hot, but not terrible. It hasn't changed at all since my last echo six months ago. He upped my metoprolol and said I should come back in a year.

While there, I asked when I could have my kids checked to see if they inherited my left ventricular non-compaction. He said there is actually a study ongoing currently and if I wanted to be a part of it, they would do all my genetic testing for free and possibly my blood relatives if I had certain genes. Bonus!
This condition is really rare and there's not much research yet, so I'm glad I can be a part of the study.
Fingers crossed this is just a birth defect and I didn't pass on wonky genes to my kiddos.

Long and boring update.....
looking forward to my lipo and rounder boobs 12/20!

Monday, October 15, 2012

Here they are!

It's already 45 days past reconstructive surgery and I'm finally getting around to posting pics. Sorry!
I have had virtually no problems since surgery.

My ribs are still a little sore. I thought the pain was from the expanders; now I'm not really sure what is causing the pain. It's minimal.

I'm extremely happy with my new boobs. Are they perfect? No. have they EVER been perfect? Hell, no.
I didn't just have a boob job. I had my breasts completely removed from my body. I had Aladerm added to where I no longer had tissue and had breast expanders placed to make mounds where there were none. Every day, I am more in awe of the entire process.
With a shirt on, I look normal...better than normal, actually.

Here they are:

This pic shows my right side when I bend down. Rippling happens with reconstruction and can be fixed. I need more volume. Dr. Migliori is a perfectionist and recommended I do skin grafting to round out both sides and make them more symmetrical and full.
Unfortunately, he will have to do liposuction on my thighs and tummy to harvest the fat to inject in my boobs.
I'm totally kidding about the unfortunately part. My response to Migs, "AYFKM? Free lipo on my tummy AND thighs and even BIGGER boobs? Sign my ass up!"
I now have a surgery date of 12/20. :) I love that man.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012


I love October. I love the weather, the leaves changing color and I also love the pink ribbons and cancer awareness craziness I see everywhere I look. 

I read on other people's blogs that they are sick of pink ribbons on everything. 
I disagree for the most part. 
I LOVE pink ribbons; what I don't like is "pinkwashing."

A pinkwasher is a company or organization that claims to care about breast cancer by promoting a pink ribbon product, but at the same time produces, manufactures and/or sells products that are linked to the disease.

According to the Think Before You Pink website, these are the questions you should ask yourself before being purchasing something because of the pink ribbon.

1. Does any money from this purchase go to fund breast cancer programs?
2. What organization will get the money? What will they do with the funds? 
3. Is there a "cap" on how much the company will donate? Has the cap already been met?

If you aren't able to answer these questions, you could absolutely buy whatever it is; just know that breast cancer research may not be receiving a penny of it. 

EXAMPLE: In 2011, Susan G. Komen for the Cure commissioned a perfume called Promise Me that contains unlisted chemicals that are regulated as toxic and hazardous, have not been adequately evaluated for human safety, and have demonstrated negative health effects. Although Komen says they will reformulate future versions of the perfume, without official adoption of the precautionary principle, there is no guarantee that future versions would be better.

EXAMPLE: In 2010, Dansko shoe company sold pink ribbon clogs. Consumers likely thought that a portion of theirpurchase of pink ribbon clogs went to a breast cancer program. However, purchase of the pink ribbon clogs was not connected to Dansko’s donation—none of the portion of the sales went toward their already set donation of $25,000 to Susan G. Komen for the Cure. No matter whether or not you bought the clogs, their donation was the same.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Your Questions

I love the feature of my blog where I can see where my visitors come from and what keywords they googled to get here.

Some of them are the expected words like breast cancer, breast reconstruction and tissue expanders. Others leave me scratching my head. Lately, from all over the United States, I have received hits on my site for people searching for "sick chest tattoos" and "toddler pacifiers." I'm sure mastectomy scars aren't what these searchers are seeking.

Anyways, I receive a lot of private messages asking things about my treatment and tips I may have. I will list a few of the most common ones here.

What did you use during radiation to keep your skin hydrated? 
I used a combination of Miaderm, coconut oil and emu oil.
I greased up every few hours and wore an old shirt. My plastic surgeon is amazed at how good my skin looks now.

Which Minnesota doctors did you use and would you recommend them?
I would absolutely, without a doubt recommend every one of my doctors. They're amazing.

My oncologist is Dr. Hartung. She's hilarious and a straight shooter. I literally trust her with my life.

My plastic surgeon is Dr. Migliori. He is a magician and a big teddy bear. He gave me boobs....freaking awesome boobs. He has the best bedside manner and not once did I see him where he didn't hug me.

My surgeon is Dr. Bretzke. She removed my breasts and lymph nodes. She declared me cancer-free and told me she hoped to never see me again. While I love her dearly, I concur.

What size did you end up?
Yes, strangers ask me that. I find it funny and I'm glad people feel comfortable enough to ask what they want. I asked for a C, but wanted a D.  Dr Migliori said that he would do his best. I am now a 34 DD or a 36 D, depending on the brand. I'm still waiting for a good sizing at Nordstrom's. I have a feeling I might actually be a different size than I'm wearing.

The big difference with real boobs and reconstructed boobs is that I don't have that cone look to my boobs anymore, so some bras have extra material in the cup that I can't fill. Mine are round, but not stripper-ish.

 As always, I welcome your questions. Email me! :)

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Post Surgery

I'm sorry that I haven't updated yet.

Dr. Bretzke said that my umbilical hernia was worse than she expected, so she did have to use mesh in my stomach.
It still hurts sooooo bad. It's definitely comparable to the pain from a c-section.

When Dr. Migliori went in to take out my port, he said that I was definitely lucky that my surgery was when it was. As he cut my skin, he was able to see that the port was only about a millimeter from the surface and there was old dried blood surrounding it, like a hematoma. He thinks within a few days, my body would have expelled the port and I would have been left with an open direct line to my heart and possible infection. Thank God my surgery was when it was!

Dr. Migliori was able to place 550 ccs implants in. I am ecstatic; he wasn't sure I would be able to even get 500 ccs because of what radiation typically does to your skin. He praised me for taking such good care during the process. I think he was a little shocked that I didn't use anything special, just coconut oil.

I have very little pain in my chest and boobs for now.
I have to wear an underwire bra around the clock for three weeks.
Here are an obnoxious amount of pictures. :)

Waiting patiently for the anesthesiologist.


Because I had lymph nodes removed during my mastectomy, I can no longer have blood pressure taken or blood draws done from that arm. Doing so would put me at an even higher risk for lymphedema.
This is a little reminder for everyone in the surgery room. 

                                                       Post surgery. Good drugs!

This is me on surgery day. This picture shows all of the areas that I had worked on. I'm so swollen; I can't believe I'm posting this. 

 This is day 2. Eric and I went to Edina to meet with Dr. Migliori again. He said everything looks awesome and he was able to take off the Ace bandage. One more day until I can shower.

Dr Migs guaranteed me that my boobs would look better one the swelling went down. I'm happy with them already. The black bra I'm wearing in the picture is a D cup. I had hoped to be a large C or small D. I got my wish! I have only a tiny amount of blood around the cut he made and virtually no bruising.

                             This is my miracle worker, Dr. Migliori. Love, love, love him!!
Thanks again to everyone for the calls, emails and facebook messages. You guys are rockstars!!

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

One more day!

It's 5 a.m. the day before my final surgery and I can't sleep. Honestly, I'm just sitting here drinking coffee and flexing my boobs. It's a fun party trick I realized I could do shortly after my expander surgery. Because my tissue expanders are in a nice little pocket inside of my chest wall, when I move my arms or chest muscles, my boobs move. It's obnoxious and hilarious. I, of course, hope my newly acquired trick sticks with me after surgery tomorrow. How fun would that be at the gym?

 Just in case I lose my "gift", I had Eric take a short video of me flexing last night. I'm trying to post it but haven't figured out how to do that yet. Youtube is a little too sophisticated for me. I also had Eric take a picture of my port-a-cath. This little button has allowed me to not feel any of my sticks during the last year. I have received all of my chemotherapy and herceptin infusions through my "little friend." My port is the main reason I am so excited for surgery. Although extremely helpful, I hate this thing. There are cords under my skin that lead to my artery. They're gross and feel strange. It's a bitch trying to find shirts that don't show my "button." Occasionally, I just slap a band-aid on it and call it good.
The bruising has been pretty bad for the past few months. My body just wants it out.

 On to surgery stuff, I have to check in at Abbott at 6 am for my 8 am surgery. Dr. Bretzke will do surgery on my umbilical hernia first...a special shout out to my 7 lb 1 oz and 6 lb 5 oz twins! :) Next, Dr. Migliori will do my expander/implant swap. The complete time should be under around 2-3 hours. They are estimating that I will be discharged around noon if all goes well. My bag is packed and I'm ready to put this whole cancer saga behind me.

When I read posts from the beginning of this journey, I talked a lot about the fantastic new boobs I would have at the end. I have since learned, boobs aren't that big of a deal....shocking, I know. Even with my new boobs, grand as they may be....and they WILL be grand! I will still have no feeling in them. I could plop them right on a stove burner and wouldn't feel a thing. I still have no nipples, which oddly doesn't seem odd to me anymore. I still have an arm that feels like raw chicken. I have very little feeling there and it still isn't completely weight bearing. My fingers still tingly and go numb.

As normal as I look now from the outside, breast cancer has still taken it's toll.
I'm still adapting, but I'm thankful.

Thanks for all of your support and prayers!

Saturday, August 11, 2012

It's My Cancerversary

Today, one year ago, my life changed forever. I was diagnosed with an aggressive breast cancer and was sure that I was dying.

Since then, I have received my miracle from the Lord and am now completely cancer-free. I was blessed with an amazing medical team who pulled out all of the stops and provided me with the best care possible. My friends, both near and far, are the greatest I could ever ask for and my family has supported and loved me more than I deserved.

I don't think about breast cancer every day anymore. I don't panic that the aches I do have are a recurrence waiting to happen. I live my life and I thank God every single day that I wake up; it's how I should have been living all along.

I'm almost at the end of my cancer journey. I will have my final Herceptin infusion on August 20th and my last Breast Reconstruction surgery on August 30th. I am looking forward to less appointments and finally getting my chemo port removed.

Here are some pics of us since I've last posted. This is at one of my July infusions, in serious need of a haircut.
I was texted this picture from the Relay for Life in Watertown, SD. My brother and his family walked for me. It's so weird to see your name on a bag. It's just one of those crazy times that you think, Wow, my name is on a fucking cancer bag...this sucks. A second later, you realize that you're damn happy that the bag says "in honor of" instead of "in memory of."
This was probably the highlight of my summer. Eric and I chose to be baptized along with 900 other people from our church in Lake Johanna. It was amazing and we came out of the water completely different people.
These are my new magic glasses. My job allows me to work from home and requires a lot of time on the phone and computer. I bought these glasses so my kids would be able to tell when mom was just surfing the web or actually working. I tell them that when Mom's magic glasses are on, my ears don't hear anyone who is not on the phone. So far, it has been working. :)
This is my lovely family.
My new ring. Eric and the kids gave me a Cancerversary ring. It's pink and sparkly and I love it!
Life has been great. Summer is coming to an end and Karsyn starts school Monday. I have been richly blessed. I think I should eat cake.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

I love youtube.

For my lovers of gore, I found a clip of what my surgery will most likely look like. I will be having my breast tissue expanders taken out (I love how they just pop out in the video) and my new implants put in.

Surgeries are fascinating!

If you're easily grossed out or have no interest in the process, don't click the link.
Surgery Link

Disclaimer: This is NOT me.


Everything has been business as usual around here. The kids are busy with summer activities. I'm busy trying to get my house in order and Eric is busy working to pay for it all. :)

I had chemo again on Monday. I'm happy to report that I only have three more left. My last Herceptin infusion is two months from today.
My final surgery is so close that I can hardly stand it....71 more days!!

My left wrist and shoulder are still pretty achy. It's likely that I will always have pains in that arm. I also notice a lot of tingling and numbness in my fingertips. Normal complaints, I'm told.
Despite that, I'm feeling pretty damn good.

People don't look at me like I'm sick anymore. Friends have stopped asking how I'm feeling. My doctor appointments are now few and far between.
I missed this.
I love the normalcy that this summer has brought. I never want it to end.

Here are some pics of June. It's been exciting and busy!
We went on our yearly Father's Day adventure to Valleyfair last weekend.

The week prior to that, I met some friends in Chicago for a long weekend. Too much fun!

Monday, June 4, 2012

Great Outdoors

I'm not outdoorsy, I don't like bugs. I do, however, like to watch my kids play with bugs....and turtles.
We spent the weekend camping in a cute little cabin "up North."

We fished, chased turtles and spent the whole weekend together doing family stuff...without a tv. We all survived and can't wait to do it again!

 We love Minnesota!

Wednesday, May 30, 2012


I have taken a little break from this blog. I have been enjoying being healthy, spending time with my family and even finding time to do a little traveling.

On one hand, I want to put cancer behind me. That includes this blog and all that it contains.
I am 3 months away from my last chemo and my final reconstructive surgery. What will I write about after all of that? I barely have enough to write about now.

On the other hand, I am still getting tons of page views from all over from people who need information on breast cancer. I feel like I would be doing a disservice to them if I just stopped. Even though I have so little to share now that I'm N.E.D., I still have more knowledge about cancer than most people. I still want to help.
I'm just torn.

Another thing I feel completely conflicted about is the fact that I left out a very important part of my story and I feel guilty for not sharing that part of me.
At the time, I was so confused. I was in disbelief. I was in shock. I was in awe.
I needed time to process who I had met and what I had witnessed.

Here is my testimony.

Soon after my diagnosis, I was invited by a friend to meet with a "Man of God" named Larry Herlong. He travels the world preaching about God's goodness and is even able to manifest Jesus Christ through his own face.
I had heard what Larry was capable of but was a little skeptical, to say the least.

Within minutes of speaking with Larry, I was in full blown tears. I was at the lowest point in my life and searching for any sign that God really existed. I was tired. I needed a miracle. Larry made me feel safe as he stared into my eyes and told me what God had planned for me.

Larry prayed with me for which felt like only a few minutes, but was really over an hour. As he prayed, I sat frozen staring at him. His face began to distort and Jesus Christ himself stared back at me as clearly as Larry had been just seconds earlier. The area around Larry lit up like the brightest sunlight you could ever imagine. My eyes burned, I couldn't look away. I couldn't shut my tears off as I stared at Jesus. In the midst of Larry's prayers, I could hear him cast out the evil spirits in me that were causing my cancer. He made me repeat after him that I didn't have cancer.

Admittedly, I felt kind of silly yelling, "I don't have cancer!" when I had just been diagnosed weeks earlier.  When I voiced my concerns about getting cancer back in the future, Larry reassured me that God didn't send him to me to perform this miracle just so he could give me cancer again. Larry said I would beat cancer and it would be gone forever.  I hung on to those parting words from Larry and prayed for the best.

As you all know, when I went in for my September chemo, one month after I was diagnosed and 19 days after I met with Larry, my doctors could no longer feel the tumor in my breast that had been unmistakable weeks prior. They also couldn't find or feel the 1-inch area in my lymph node that was cancerous. My stage 2B tumors had somehow disappeared in less than one month.

The doctors were ecstatic. They were amazed that the chemo was working so fast and that I was having such a great response. There was a lot of head shaking going on in the doctor's office. I smiled knowing that we were all witnessing a miracle. I believed in God much more than the medicine.

In January 2012, when my surgeon told me that there were no signs of cancer anywhere in my body, I was so happy, but not entirely surprised.
I had been witnessing so many changes in myself, my life and in the people around me in the past few months that I knew that Larry was the real deal. I knew that I didn't have cancer because he spoke the words.

I vowed to live and love differently since that crazy day in August when I first met Larry. I'm still conflicted as I sit here contemplating whether I should REALLY post this, but I feel such a weight lifted off me for just writing this.

Part of me doesn't want to offend those of you who don't have the same beliefs as me. Part of me doesn't want my cancer-related blog to turn into anything but.

Thankfully, the biggest part of me...the pure part, wants to tell the whole world about the obstacle that God helped me overcome. I beat cancer and I didn't do it alone.
I want to tell people that miracles happen every day. I'm one of them.
God has bigger plans for me and I don't plan to disappoint him.

If anyone ever wants to talk Jesus, email me. :)

Monday, May 14, 2012

Race Day!

What a wonderful weekend we had!

Our team, Pretty in Pink, consisted of 14 runners and walkers. Together, we raised $3,310.00 for the Susan G. Komen foundation. That amount puts two of our team members on the Pink Fundraising Honor Roll! Woot for yours truly and Sharon! 

A special thanks to Sara Druck for organizing the fundraiser, all of my friends for donating prizes and our wonderful family and friends for purchasing so many raffle tickets.

We also received an amazing donation from Rustic Charm in the amount of $300.00, which were the proceeds from the HOPE necklace Mandi sells.

The day of the walk was amazing. The weather was perfect and spirits were high. It was so great to see all of the survivors and their friends and families. 

This will surely become a yearly event for us. I was shockingly interviewed by Kare 11 news during the walk and a small blurb of me showed up at the 2 minute mark. 
I also showed up at the end of the news shaking my pom poms with my friend, Jamie. I can't find that clip though. Rest assured, we looked awesome! :)

Following the race, we went to the Survivor Circle in the Mall of America. It was great to sit among all the pink shirts. We were given flowers and had a group picture taken. They had people stand if they had been diagnosed 40 years ago..., 30 years ago....., all the way down to the 1 year or less. 
I shed some tears as I stood while everyone clapped for us newbies. 

To feel so supported and loved by complete strangers was an amazing feeling. It also gave me such hope that I will be one of the people standing up at the 40 year mark some day. 
I'm not going to let this disease beat me.....although according to my friend Stacy's sign, it already has!
In memory of?? Come on now!

This is the part of our team that had no interest in running the 5k. A Minnesota Vikings cheerleader took this picture for us. 

L to R: Eric, Jean, Jamie, Jill, Me, Stacy, Jen, Deb, Josh, Palmer, Megan

The support for this event was amazing. Minnesota has one of the largest Komen walks in the U.S. 
It was truly an amazing thing to be a part of.

Me and my love. 
He had SUCH a hard time with this day. It took an emotional toll on him that I did NOT expect. It was hard to see.

We finished the race, but our job is not done. We will continue to walk, fundraise and preach to the masses about early detection of breast cancer until there is a cure for breast cancer.

I WILL live to see a cure for breast cancer. 
Thanks for your support!