Wednesday, August 29, 2012

One more day!

It's 5 a.m. the day before my final surgery and I can't sleep. Honestly, I'm just sitting here drinking coffee and flexing my boobs. It's a fun party trick I realized I could do shortly after my expander surgery. Because my tissue expanders are in a nice little pocket inside of my chest wall, when I move my arms or chest muscles, my boobs move. It's obnoxious and hilarious. I, of course, hope my newly acquired trick sticks with me after surgery tomorrow. How fun would that be at the gym?

 Just in case I lose my "gift", I had Eric take a short video of me flexing last night. I'm trying to post it but haven't figured out how to do that yet. Youtube is a little too sophisticated for me. I also had Eric take a picture of my port-a-cath. This little button has allowed me to not feel any of my sticks during the last year. I have received all of my chemotherapy and herceptin infusions through my "little friend." My port is the main reason I am so excited for surgery. Although extremely helpful, I hate this thing. There are cords under my skin that lead to my artery. They're gross and feel strange. It's a bitch trying to find shirts that don't show my "button." Occasionally, I just slap a band-aid on it and call it good.
The bruising has been pretty bad for the past few months. My body just wants it out.

 On to surgery stuff, I have to check in at Abbott at 6 am for my 8 am surgery. Dr. Bretzke will do surgery on my umbilical hernia first...a special shout out to my 7 lb 1 oz and 6 lb 5 oz twins! :) Next, Dr. Migliori will do my expander/implant swap. The complete time should be under around 2-3 hours. They are estimating that I will be discharged around noon if all goes well. My bag is packed and I'm ready to put this whole cancer saga behind me.

When I read posts from the beginning of this journey, I talked a lot about the fantastic new boobs I would have at the end. I have since learned, boobs aren't that big of a deal....shocking, I know. Even with my new boobs, grand as they may be....and they WILL be grand! I will still have no feeling in them. I could plop them right on a stove burner and wouldn't feel a thing. I still have no nipples, which oddly doesn't seem odd to me anymore. I still have an arm that feels like raw chicken. I have very little feeling there and it still isn't completely weight bearing. My fingers still tingly and go numb.

As normal as I look now from the outside, breast cancer has still taken it's toll.
I'm still adapting, but I'm thankful.

Thanks for all of your support and prayers!


  1. Hope it all goes well for you! You are awesome and an inspiration!

  2. Good luck! I had nipples tattooed and it doesn't look half bad. It's been 5 years and the feeling still is coming back in the ol' gals...
    Never give up hope!

    1. Thank you!
      You're still getting feeling after 5 years? That's something to look forward to! I'm on the fence on the nipples. I've gotten pretty used to not having them.

  3. Good luck Mama!!! Love ya! ~mandi