I love youtube.

For my lovers of gore, I found a clip of what my surgery will most likely look like. I will be having my breast tissue expanders taken out (I love how they just pop out in the video) and my new implants put in.

Surgeries are fascinating!

If you're easily grossed out or have no interest in the process, don't click the link.
Surgery Link

Disclaimer: This is NOT me.

June

Everything has been business as usual around here. The kids are busy with summer activities. I'm busy trying to get my house in order and Eric is busy working to pay for it all. :)

I had chemo again on Monday. I'm happy to report that I only have three more left. My last Herceptin infusion is two months from today.
My final surgery is so close that I can hardly stand it....71 more days!!

My left wrist and shoulder are still pretty achy. It's likely that I will always have pains in that arm. I also notice a lot of tingling and numbness in my fingertips. Normal complaints, I'm told.
Despite that, I'm feeling pretty damn good.

People don't look at me like I'm sick anymore. Friends have stopped asking how I'm feeling. My doctor appointments are now few and far between.
I missed this.
I love the normalcy that this summer has brought. I never want it to end.


Here are some pics of June. It's been exciting and busy!
We went on our yearly Father's Day adventure to Valleyfair last weekend.

The week prior to that, I met some friends in Chicago for a long weekend. Too much fun!

A whole lot of nothing!

My drains are putting out what they should be FINALLY, so I think we're on track to have them taken out on Friday. Houston is trying his damndest to yank them out before then. He keeps me on my toes. In his sweet little mind, the fluid in the drains is cancer and he wants no part of it.
I don't blame him. My littles sure have learned a lot about the c-word since August. I can't wait until the day he tells all of his friends that his mom has new big boobs instead of cancer. :)

It's been nine days since my surgery and my mom is heading back to SD tomorrow. All good things must come to an end. She spent today packing. It gave me a 'trial day' to see if I could handle my kids alone post-surgery.
I was a little sore, a little tired, but we all managed. The kids were actually pretty easy on me. I'm hopeful this is a new trend.

I now know that anything I plan to feed the kids has to be on the 1st and 2nd shelves of the pantry and fridge, since I can't raise my arms. Thank goodness my kids are fans of cereal, grilled cheese, jarred peaches and cottage cheese. :)

I forgot to post some pics from the days right after surgery.

Here are the signs I was welcomed home by:

My wonderful niece, Cheyanne, made this fabulous sign for me once we got the all clear on the pathology report.
Yes, she's wayyyy too young to write ASS. We will let it slide since she asked her dad's permission first. Love that girl!

The most fabulous woman ever took the day off from her job as a social worker to babysit my kids for the entire day of surgery. She even came equipped with art supplies.
The kids are still asking for Jodi to come back to "do art and play phones."
I will never be able to thank you enough, Jodi!

Here's me in all of my hotness. I have no idea which day this was. I may or may not be wearing the same exact outfit right now.
Don't hate on my XXXXL old lady robe. The recommended zip up flannel robe options for post mastectomies are very limited.

I made myself a drain holder by using my dusting mitt to stuff my three bags in. That's some Pinterest shit, right there. ;)

Here's a different pic of my drains. Gross, right? Check out the fancy safety pins. :)
The pants may be even worse than the drains. They, too, have become a staple this week.

I have to write down my outputs daily.

I also kept a little med chart so I could make sure my caretakers remembered to keep me drugged at all times.
Yes, for all you eagle-eyes, I did take a stool softener for a few days. No, for all you nosy people, they didn't work. Ha!

Small things like this crack me up.
Six months ago, I wouldn't have in a million years even posted a pic on Facebook that I hadn't first used Picnik.com to take 5 lbs off, add highlights to my hair or whiten my teeth.
I now openly (and often!) post pics of me sans make up, a little chunkier than I would like and with no hair, eyebrows or lashes. I also post the frequency of my stool softener usage.
Insanity, I tell you!

I would like to think that once I'm back to full on health, I might splash on a little lipstick and mascara, for old times sake. Paraben-free, of course!


Whew. I feel so much better getting this all typed out and off my oddly shaped chest. You know this blog is more for me than for you, right? ;)

Have a good one!

Thursday is PET scan day!

After completing chemotherapy, a follow-up whole-body PET scan can provide information to assess if the treatment was successful and if areas that were previously abnormally metabolically active have responded. The PET scan can detect residual disease within the scar tissue and indicate if the treatment was successful or if the tumor has returned.

PET/CT scans provide information to help physicians:

Locate the site of the cancer
Determine the size of the tumor
Differentiate benign from malignant growths
Discover if the cancer has spread
Select treatments that are likely to be appropriate
Monitor the success of therapy
Detect any recurrent tumors

So Thursday, I'm hoping that the tech sees no "hot spots."
I'm going to ask my doctor to not tell me the results until I meet with her next Tuesday for my pre-op consult. I don't want any bad news (which there won't be!) during the holiday.

Obviously, Tuesday will either be the best or worst day of my life.

Best case scenerio is that the cancer is gone. It's unlikely that it would all be completely gone, but a good portion of it should have been killed off by the chemo.

Good case would be that the cancer that exists is still contained and will be removed with the breast tissue during my mastectomy.

Worst case would be that even while doing chemo, the cancer spread elsewhere, automatically turning me to stage 4. There is no stage 5.

The statistics show that 30-60% of women who have cancer in their lymph nodes when diagnosed with breast cancer will have it eventually spread to other parts of the body. I'm part of this crappy statistic. I wish I weren't.
The risk of cancer spread depends largely on the tumor size and the number of positive lymph nodes.

I won't know the number of nodes that will have to be removed and/or severity of the damage until surgery.

After surgery, I will also know how often I will be going to radiation.
For now, it's planned at 6.5 weeks of Monday through Friday treatments. 33 blasts of radiation. Wow. Take that, cancer cells!


Want to hear something crazy? Surgery is in 14 days!!

Now that the chemo crap is over, it's amazing how good I feel.
That doesn't say a whole lot since I felt great before I found out I had cancer, but it's a nice change.
I guess for the past few months, I didn't realize how yucky I actually felt.
I only wish it wasn't flu season so I could go do something!!

I know you all are prayer warriors so I ask, PLEASE pray that the dreadful chemo was successful.
I can't think of anything better than spending 2012 and all years following cancer-free.
Who knows? Maybe 2012 will be the year that they find a cure!


XOXO!