This weekend is the first weekend since my diagnosis that I have actually felt incapacitated. I don't know if it was the chemo or the new shot, but I was a wreck.
I felt like I had the worst flu of my life. I also felt like I had been in a terrible car accident. My bones have never hurt so bad in my life.
I missed Karsyn's soccer game and Eric's work picnic on Saturday. I was pretty bummed.
We had been able to avoid "the talk" with the kids up to this point. They knew that Mom had a "button" for the medicine to go in to and that I had to sometimes go to appointments, but that was the extent. They had heard the word "cancer" thrown around, but hadn't asked for more details.
After realizing that I'm sure this won't be the only weekend that I'm out of commission, the kids needed more of an explanation. I checked out a few books from Minnesota Oncology and Eric read them to the kids while I listened.
We made it halfway through the first book before Houston yelled, "Mom, you have CANCER!" You could just see the light bulb when he said it. It was like everything was finally making sense. Chase doesn't say much. Karsyn likes to think about my illness in terms of seasons. "Mom will be sick in the fall, winter and part of the spring...but she'll be better by summer!"
I think they understand now that Mom will have good days and bad days. I just need to work hard to make sure that on my good days, I make the most of them.
Today's a pretty good day.
We're going to make some memories. :)