Saturday, December 17, 2011

A Note From My Mom

Angela said one day that there are many moms going through what I am now that I have a daughter with cancer. She thought that maybe someone could benefit from my message. I would like to tell my story.

Because it's December, my story will be about blessings.

Hi, my name is Pam and I am Angela's mom. I grew up with loving parents and one sister.
We were taught love, compassion, honesty, trust and most of all, family unity.
I decided a week after Angela's diagnosis that life as I knew it, would be changing.

I decided to move from my home in SD to Angela's in MN. She lives 4.5 hours from me.
I left my husband of 35 years. I left my son, daughter-in-law and grandchildren, whom I normally see weekly.
I said goodbye to my mother and asked her to care for my dog.
I left my friends.

I knew my priorities had to change. I had to move on and not look back.
It was tough and I cried hard.

It was the fear of the unknown.
I prayed. I prayed for strength and wisdom to guide my daughter, but also to be able to give her total decision making power.
This was her battle.

At age 31, she did not need a mother to tell her to take a nap.
The mother instinct in me has always been super strong. I felt the need to protect my baby as well as her babies.
All of my energy has been focused on getting her well.

We knew that we couldn't change the past or predict the future.
Angela decided the first day that life would go on as normal.

The kids know mom has cancer, but our lives do not revolve around it.
The kids know that I'm here, but never ask why. It's like an extended birthday party for them.

I heard Angela talking to a newly diagnosed breast cancer patient that some days, she forgets she has cancer. I know she really doesn't forget she has cancer but she chooses to forget the bad and look for the good.

My responsibility to my daughter is to be her best friend, her helper and most importantly, her mother.

Each day is a new blessing. The REAL blessing is that Angela chooses to parent her children with the same love and tenderness that I gave to her and her brother.
Almost every day, I want to pull her into my lap and kiss her fuzzy head. I just want her to feel all better.

I watch hourly for changes in her.
Her smile, her complexion, her eyes....every day is a new beginning.
I watch and help when she is exhausted from her chemo or sick from her Neulasta shot.

She always has time for her family and friends.
She has shown us all how strong and remarkable she is.
She never complains. She never asks Why? She continues on with her life like it's just another day. She celebrates each moment with a smile on her face. She's amazing.

I wish someone would have told me in the beginning "This will be a life changing event, but embrace it and all that goes with it and you will be truly blessed!"
This is hard...but it's not impossible.

So to all of my daughter's friends and blog followers, THANK YOU for your support and prayers during our journey.

We know that cancer has presented itself to many of you in many ways.
May all of you who have been touched by cancer, please say a prayer for Angela and all the others, that a cure be found in the shortest amount of time.

Our prayers are with you all!

Happy Holidays!



  1. Kleenex please! What an awesome post! Now I know where Angela gets her always positive attitude! Merry Christmas to all of you over in MN from a few of us over in ND!

  2. Wonderful Wonderful words Pam!! You truely are a blessing to Angela, Eric and the kids.. You might not think, so but you are probabaly one of the reasons she forgets she has cancer from time to time.. :)
    Hugs to all of you!!!

  3. Beautiful words! Thanks for sharing.

  4. Love you Pam~your pretty special!

  5. Tears! Angela your mom is amazing like you!!!! I am so glad that you have such a wonderfully supportive mom!